Utopia
by Var
Summary: Ben destroys M'Lynn's family in the Purge and she escapes the island on the submarine. She soon realizes that she never should have left the island and Ben and spends years trying to find a way back. She'd lost all hope until she boarded flight 815...
1. The Road and the Damned

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "The Road and the Damned" by Coheed and Cambria

**Chapter 1- The Road and the Damned**

"_I believed, in the world right in front of me but now, along these empty streets where this curse haunts these memories of a man and all he's lost."_

Benjamin Linus walked slowly into the quiet village. In all of the years he had lived there, he had never heard such silence. He stopped and surveyed the courtyard.

"_No time to think about it, no room to breathe"_

His eyes grew wide when he saw the first of the bodies. A young woman, he remembered her to be Susie, was lying on the ground near the volleyball net. Deep red blood trickled from her nose and mouth. She wasn't the only one. Every direction he looked he saw more of the dead. They all had blood on their faces because they had all died the same way.

"_If I had a way back I'd ride through the dark and the dawn._

_But please don't wait for me, because the man you loved don't live anymore._

_I can't go home again."_

He resumed his walk until he came to a park bench and was unable to go further. On the bench sat the only one of them he had ever admired. He had respected Horace and had often wondered if his life would have turned out differently if he had been his father instead of the worthless man whose body was still sitting in a work van up the hill. He reached out a tentative hand and closed the poor man's eyes. Horace deserved better than this.

"_Tonight you'll sleep, no fear of what might become of me, my dear._

_Within these end of days, where this longing turns this man to prey._

_On a love that yearns to die."_

Had he made a mistake? Had he been too hasty to decide the fate of over forty lives? Perhaps he had gotten himself in over his head.

'I'm not sure I can handle this.' He whispered to himself as he once again looked over the village.

He had succeeded in his task. He had killed them all.

"_What have I done?"_


	2. Cry

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Cry" by Mandy Moore

**Chapter 2-Cry**

"_I'll always remember, it was late afternoon. It lasted forever and ended too soon."_

"M'Lynn your family is dead."

She heard the words but didn't understand them. Only hours ago she had seen her younger brother throwing around a football with one of his friends in the courtyard. She had seen her parents not long before that. How could they be dead?

"M'Lynn, did you hear me? Are you alright?" the voice asked.

She looked at the man it belonged to. Ben Linus watched her carefully. He eyed her as if she might break.

"How?" she managed to force out.

"We're not exactly certain. There was some sort of accident. The entire village was accosted by a poisonous gas. There were no survivors. I'm sorry M'Lynn."

"_You were all by yourself staring up at a dark gray sky. I was changed."_

She looked at him again. She had grown up with Ben. They were both close to the same age so they had shared their classes together at the school. When they were done with school they had gone separate ways. Ben to work with his father as a Work Man and M'Lynn as a researcher for the Zoology division. She had never understood why Ben chose such a mundane job. He had been brilliant when they were younger and she was sure nothing had changed. He had been meant for bigger things than cleaning up trash.

Ben's voice brought her back to the present, "We must leave M'Lynn; can you walk?"

"Of course I can walk. Why are we leaving? I want to see my family." She demanded.

Ben glanced at the man standing next to M'Lynn, "I'm sorry but that won't be possible. All of the bodies had to be destroyed. We feared contamination."

"So what did you do to them?"

"The bodies were burned. It was the only way." Ben said looking down, unable to meet her eyes.

"You burned them!" M'Lynn screamed, "How could you do such a thing? Show them to me now!"

"That is out of the question." Ben said as he nodded to the man. A strong hand was wrapped around her arm and M'Lynn instinctively began to struggle.

"Bring her along." Ben said as he turned and walked into the jungle.

"Ben! No!" M'Lynn pleaded. "Let go of me!" she cried to the man but he didn't loosen his grip. Without a backward glance he pulled her into the jungle.

M'Lynn didn't stop fighting the man until they were nearly to their destination. Finally, out of shear exhaustion, she let him lead her without struggling.

The three of them stopped in a large clearing. As soon as they arrived a number of others stepped out of the brush to join them.

"I see everyone has arrived." Ben said aloud.

M'Lynn looked around and saw mostly faces she didn't recognize but was delighted when she found three she did. At the opposite end of the clearing stood Isabel, Mikhail, and Kelvin. M'Lynn had gotten to know each of them during her time on the island. She and Ben had grown up with Isabel but Mikhail and Kelvin had been recruited later to work for Dharma. She noted that they looked just as frightened as she felt.

Ben began to speak quietly with the man who had forced her through the jungle. Why was Ben the only one who seemed at ease about the situation? And where had all these people come from?

M'Lynn soon found out as Ben stood in the middle of the circle and explained that the two factions would now be living together. The remnants of Dharma would coexist with the original inhabitants of the island. This is where M'Lynn saw the real Ben come out. This was not some meek janitor making an articulate speech, but the Ben she had always imagined him to be. A small part of her was proud of him for it.

* * *

"_It was late in September and I'd seen you before. You were always the cold one but I was never that sure."_

Two days later M'Lynn was trying to find her way through the jungle to a nearby stream. It was going to take some time to adjust to living out in the open but she was beginning to get the hang of it.

She was nearly to the stream when she heard an odd sound. She stopped and listened closely. She heard it again. It was almost like a soft whimper. She tiptoed around a large tree and saw him.

"_In places no one would find all your feelings so deep inside."_

Ben was kneeling at the edge of the stream. His head was bowed and he was whispering something over and over. As she took a step closer she was able to make it out, he whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

M'Lynn was taken back by Ben's behavior. Normally he was so reserved and never showed emotion. You could never tell what he was thinking, but she could tell right now. Now, he was hurting.

"_It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes, the moment I saw you cry."_

As she stepped closer to him his head shot up and his eyes met hers. M'Lynn felt her heart break when she saw he had been and still was, crying. She knelt next to him and laid her hand over his.

"I've been so selfish thinking about losing my parents that I never thought about you losing your dad." She told him.

He looked at her with watery eyes and seemed to be truly seeing her for the first time. "He wasn't much of a father to be honest."

"He still died Ben. You have every right to mourn him."

"What if it's my fault he is dead? What if I killed him?" he whispered to her as fresh tears fell from his face.

M'Lynn felt her own tears prick at her eyes as she looked at him, "You could never do a thing like that Ben. It's not your fault." She said as she pulled him close and wrapped her arms around him.

"_I wanted to hold you; I wanted to make it go away. I wanted to know you; I wanted to make your everything all right…"_

"You have such faith in me." Ben breathed into her hair as he clung to her.

"I believe that you are a good man Ben." M'Lynn answered.

Ben sighed and held her tighter, "What if you're wrong?"


	3. Stolen

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are in _italicized._

Author's Note: Are the lyrics annoying? Or do they fit with the story? They fit in my mind but I'd like to hear what y'all think.

Also, to _antidisestablishment101_, I'm not able to reply to your posts, so thank you for your kind reviews!! I'd be happy to tell you about the story!

Lyrics: "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional

**Chapter 3-Stolen**

"_We watched the season pull up its own stakes and catch the last weekend of the last week. Before the gold and glimmer have been replaced, another sun soaked season fades away."_

"Can you tell me why I need to carry a gun Richard?" M'Lynn asked several months later.

This was the same man who had carried her through the jungle what felt like a lifetime ago. Though he had done a lot for her and the other Dharma survivors she was still suspicious of him.

"It's for your own safety M'Lynn. Just in case." He answered her with impatience.

"In case of what?" she asked.

"In case you need to shoot something. Now stop bothering the man and do as he says." Ben said callously as he strode into the clearing.

M'Lynn eyes narrowed as Ben brushed past her. It had been months since she had found him mourning his father by the stream and he had barely spoken to her since. Instead he had become colder, more ruthless. She knew he was hiding something. She could see it in him whenever he thought no one was looking at him.

M'Lynn leaned over to Isabel who was standing beside her, "I can think of something I'd like to shoot right now." She whispered.

Isabel chuckled, "Behave M'Lynn or he won't let you come with us."

"You know I would be crushed if I couldn't see Kelvin's new post!" she mocked.

"Hey little lady, I heard that. Don't tell me you won't miss me; it will break my heart." Kelvin said as he came up and put his arm around her shoulder.

"Of course I'll miss you Kel. We all will. I wish they'd send someone else to the station."

"But then I wouldn't get to play the hero, would I? Besides, if I don't leave then you'll never realize how madly in love with me you are." Kelvin teased.

M'Lynn's eyes moved to where Ben was standing. He had frozen at Kelvin's words.

"Keep dreaming Kel. Where's Mikhail? We'd better get going."

* * *

"_Invitation only, grant farewells. Crush the best one, of the best ones. Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight."_

Richard walked quietly through the jungle until he found Ben.

"You rushed off quite quickly." Richard said standing next to him.

"I needed to think a moment." Ben answered.

"You needed to think about her, M'Lynn."

"What?" Ben asked surprised, "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Ben, no one ever told you that you couldn't have a life. You can be with M'Lynn and serve your purpose at the same time."

"I don't believe that it true." Ben said turning away.

"And why not?"

"Because she is a weakness!" Ben declared. "One I will not tolerate."

Richard shook his head, "I see the way you look at her. And soon the others will begin to notice as well. You can't deny yourself forever. Think about it Ben." Richard laid a comforting hand on Ben's shoulder before leaving him alone.

"_You have stolen my heart."_

* * *

"Let me get this straight." M'Lynn tried to say calmly as they walked through the jungle. Five pairs of eyes looked her way. Isabel, Kelvin, and Mikhail's were wary because they recognized the tone in her voice. Ben looked agitated and Richard merely curious. 

"You actually let them out of their cages? Are you insane?" M'Lynn raised her voice.

"The cages signified the kind of poisonous hold that some of the Dharma experiments had on the islands. We were simply righting a wrong." Ben explained.

"No, what you have done is made an even bigger wrong."

"I disagree with you." Ben shrugged.

"Of course you do." M'Lynn said throwing her hands in the air in unease. "You are the most disagreeable man I have ever met."

"You always did like to argue Ben." Isabel chimed.

"Thank you Isabel." Ben intoned.

M'Lynn grabbed Ben's arm to stop him, "Do you even know anything about polar bears Ben? Better yet, do you know anything about these polar bears?"

"Regardless of what I say, I have a feeling you're going to enlighten us anyway." He said staring down at her.

"These bears are smart. Smarter than any average intelligent creature. And they're mean. Most bears will simply kill what they need for food. Not these, they will kill you because you are there. There is a reason we were studying them. You should have left them in their cages Ben."

"They are on the other island M'Lynn. I don't think we'll be seeing them any time soon." Ben brushed her off and began walking again.

"Are you truly as ignorant as you are sounding? These are damn polar bears! They can swim, distances far longer than between the islands."

"Enough!" Ben yelled. "I don't want to hear anymore about it M'Lynn."

M'Lynn clenched her fists as he walked away from her. What a foolish man he was. Despite him acting like a brute she couldn't help but see him as he had been that day by the stream, unguarded. Yes, he was a foolish man but why was she suddenly so keen for him to be her foolish man?

* * *

"_And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration. One good stretch before our hibernation. Our dreams assured and we all will sleep well."_

Many hours later they were making their way back to camp. They had left Kelvin at his post at the Swan station. Sadly they'd had to leave him there alone. Ben told him reinforcements would be coming soon.

They'd stopped in the jungle to rest when M'Lynn heard an odd rustling noise behind her. It was too loud to be the wind so she got up to investigate.

"Hey Ben? Everyone?" M'Lynn called quietly and they stood up. "Do you remember what I was talking about earlier? Well, you're going to want to run."

"What?" Ben asked.

"Run!" M'Lynn screamed as the huge, white bear burst from the brush.

Everyone, including M'Lynn abandoned their things and fled. They could hear the polar bear's horrible growl behind them.

"Don't stop!" M'Lynn yelled when she saw Ben look backward.

She knew they couldn't continue like this for long. Soon they would begin to tire and slow down but the polar bear would not. Then, they would be killed. M'Lynn made a decision. It may have been a stupid one, but she made it nonetheless.

"Keep running!" she ordered as she reached behind her back to the waistband of her jeans. She stopped and turned around to see the bear gaining on her. She raised her gun and pulled the trigger. She didn't stop until she heard the gun clicking and the ammunition was gone.

The polar bear slowed and staggered a bit. Then with an ear splitting roar he ran off into another direction of the jungle.

M'Lynn turned around to see Ben coming at her fast. His expression was livid. He took her face into his hands like he was going to shake her.

"Don't you ever do anything like that again! You could have been killed." Ben yelled.

"_I watch you spin around in your highest heels. You are the best one, of the best ones. We all look like we feel."_

Then he did something she really didn't expect, he kissed her. She didn't need to think twice before returning his kiss. She knew her feelings for him had grown she'd just had no idea the feelings were returned.

"_You have stolen my heart."_

Ben broke their kiss and rested his forehead on her own, "See," he smirked, "I told you that you might need to shoot something."


	4. Apologize

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Apologize" by One Republic

**Chapter 4-Apologize**

"_I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground. I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound. You tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down."_

M'Lynn woke up to see Ben watching her sleep. She often woke to find him watching her. He told her it was because she looked so peaceful when she slept.

"Good morning." She smiled.

Ben didn't answer her. Instead he looked at her closely, "You know I would never do anything intentionally to hurt you, right?"

"Of course, why do you ask? What's happened?" she said as she sat up to face him.

"Nothing." He smiled and kissed her. "I just wanted you to know."

"Ben, I love you. I know you'd never do anything to hurt me. You're a good man."

"I don't deserve your love M'Lynn, but I do love you."

"I wish you would stop that. You deserve it more than anyone else. There's not another I would be willing to give it to Ben."

Ben smiled again and took her hand, "Come on, let's get some breakfast."

* * *

"I can't believe how happy I am Isabel. To think, weeks ago we lost everything. Our families, our homes, our lives. I should be devastated." M'Lynn said to Isabel as they were packing up their tents.

"I know why you're in such a good mood M'Lynn. The whole camp does." Isabel laughed.

"Oh stop it. I'm in love Isabel. I can't help but talk about it. Speaking of love, have you talked to Kelvin lately? How is he?"

M'Lynn noticed that Isabel's cheeks blushed at their friend's name.

"Kelvin is fine. He sends his love." She answered.

"Extra to you I bet." M'Lynn teased.

"I told him about you and Ben. I don't think he quite approves."

"Well that's not his decision is it?" M'Lynn said with her hands on her hips. It was just like Kelvin to try to run her love life.

Isabel's face became serious, "Just promise you will be careful with him, alright?"

"We grew up with Ben Izzi, how much harm could he do?"

"Will you be cautious?" Isabel pushed.

"Fine, I promise." M'Lynn said to appease her friend though she didn't think Ben capable of anything dangerous.

* * *

"_I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you. I need you like a heart needs a beat, but it's nothing new. I loved you like the fire red, now it's turning blue and you say "Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you."_

A few days later M'Lynn was walking through a quiet camp when she heard a voice she recognized. As she followed it she saw Ben and Richard in a heated discussion. She was shielded by a tree so the men didn't see her as she listened.

"It is time to do something with the bodies Ben. You can't let them rot in the village."

"I see nothing wrong with it. I don't intend to return there. I left my father in the same spot where I killed him."

M'Lynn's heart froze. Did Ben just really say what she thought he said?

"That is a different situation Ben. This is no longer your decision. Jacob wants you to clean up that village. He says it is time to clean up the mess you made."

"I did it for him!" Ben cried. "I killed them for the island!"

"And you did wonderfully. But your work is not over yet." Richard said as he left Ben alone.

"_You tell me that you're sorry didn't think I'd turn around and say…"_

M'Lynn took a deep breath. Her mind raced with what she had just heard. How could Ben, her Ben, have done something so evil? She was barely aware of leaving her spot behind the tree or walking up to Ben. She came to when she realized she was aiming her gun at his face.

"M'Lynn." Ben said carefully.

"Shut up Ben. You stood there and watched me suffer. You told me my family had died by some accidental poisoning. You watched me mourn them. It was all a lie. You killed them!"

"M'Lynn, I want you to calm down and lower your gun." Ben ordered.

"I don't give a damn what you want Ben. You really had me fooled. I can't believe how blind I have been. That day when I saw you by the stream. You weren't crying because your dad was dead were you? You were crying because you felt guilty. Guilty for all the lives you took needlessly."

"You have no idea what you are talking about." Ben said as he looked around him. People from the camp had begun to gather, wondering what the yelling was about.

"You watched me fall in love with you. And you claimed to love me too. Was that a lie as well Ben?" M'Lynn asked as tears fell down her face.

"No M'Lynn, it's not a lie. I do love you. Put down the gun M'Lynn, you're not going to shoot me."

"I shot a polar bear Ben, what makes you think I'd be afraid of you?"

"Because you do love me and you, M'Lynn, could never kill someone you love." Ben said as he took a step forward.

"_It's too late to apologize…"_

"I wish you were right Ben." M'Lynn said as she pulled back on the trigger. Without warning Mikhail leaped from the crowd and pushed her to the ground. The gun fired and hit the tree right behind Ben.

"Mikhail, what the hell are you doing?" she yelled at him.

"Trust me, you do not want to do what you were about to do." He whispered in his thick Russian accent as he helped her off the ground.

M'Lynn glared at Ben as Mikhail held her back.

Ben looked at her with sadness in his eyes for a few moments before a smirk fell over his face.

"Bring her," he called as he found Richard in the crowd, "I've decided what to do with the bodies."


	5. Downhearted

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand" by Primitive Radio Gods

**Chapter 5-Downhearted**

"_I've been downhearted baby, I've been downhearted baby. Ever since the day we met."_

M'Lynn sank to her knees in front of the large pit. She looked down into the faces that would never leave her. The faces of the dead.

* * *

It turned out that Ben had a vicious cruel streak. So much, that when M'Lynn nearly shot him, he decided that she needed to be punished. To see the error of her ways. Ben had come up with the worst possible task he could have given her. First, she was to dig a hole, a large one. Then she was to drag the bodies from the village and put them in the hole. The hole or "The Pit" as she had started calling it had taken her weeks to dig. She worked on it every day, alone. Ben had forbidden anyone from helping her but often he would come to watch her. He rarely said anything; he just stood there with an odd look on his face before leaving her alone again.

After weeks of digging it was time for M'Lynn to move the bodies. She begged Ben to give the task to someone else. She was terrified and Ben knew it but he made her do it anyway.

"Tell me why you are really making me do this." She said to him one day.

Ben had looked down at the ground before meeting her eyes, "Because I love you and I need you to see things as I see them."

So she moved the bodies. One by one, tears falling from her eyes the entire time. She drug each one to the pit and rolled them in. The hardest, of course, was her own family. With the others, even though she knew them, she could block them out of her mind. She could pretend like she had never seen them before. She couldn't block out the faces of her parents or her brother. Because of that she chose to move them last. When she was done she kneeled in front of the pit. She felt the despair rise up in her and she nearly threw herself into the pit after them.

"_A life is time, they teach us growing up. The seconds ticking killed us all. A million years before the fall."_

* * *

It was there that Ben found her. He gathered her into his arms and carried her to the village. He took her inside his old house and laid her on his bed. He held her hand as her eyes slipped closed and she slept for days.

When she woke next Ben was still by her side.

"Ben?" she asked.

"Yes M'Lynn?" he said moving closer.

"Will you tell me why? Why everyone had to die?"

Ben's brow furrowed as he thought, "Picture them as a poison. Their poison was killing the island. The only choice was to purge the poison."

"But, I'm still here. Why?"

Ben smiled, "Because you, sweet M'Lynn, you are special."

M'Lynn thought on what he could mean by that.

"Do you understand why I had to do what I've done?" Ben asked her.

"I think so." She answered truthfully.

"Good," Ben nodded. "Do you still love me M'Lynn?"

She was surprised at how blunt the question was. "I think that you Ben are the one person who could do anything to me and it would be impossible to change the way I feel about you. I may not understand why I still love you after what you have done, but yes, I still love you."

Ben bent to kiss her hand, "I told you I didn't deserve your love M'Lynn. I wasn't being dramatic."

"I know that now." She offered.

"But, it makes me treasure it even more, that you are still here with me." He said as he pulled her into his arms.

M'Lynn circled her arms around Ben as she rested her head on his shoulder. On the surface she looked calm and content. But on the inside her mind was racing. One thought kept resurfacing over and over. She was in trouble.

"_I've been downhearted baby, I've been downhearted baby. Ever since the day we met…"_


	6. Sleeping Sun

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Sleeping Sun" by Nightwish

**Chapter 6-Sleeping Sun**

"_The sun is sleeping quietly_

_Once upon a century_

_Wistful oceans calm and red_

_Ardent caresses laid to rest"_

Two weeks passed and everything and everyone seemed to be getting back to normal. The entire camp moved into the village and set up their lives. Here they began their work under the orders of Ben.

M'Lynn wasn't exactly sure what their work actually was but she did know about her part of it. Ben wanted her to track down the polar bears. After finally admitting that he had made a mistake when releasing them he deemed that they needed to be taken care of. It was too dangerous to have them roaming the island left to their own devices.

M'Lynn agreed with Ben. Since they had been attacked by one, the polar bears had been a constant presence in the back of her mind. And she was more than willing to find them but Ben was making it quite difficult. He wasn't letting her out of his sight. He still didn't trust her fully; she could tell by the way he watched her. But it was something else as well. He was afraid. Ben was afraid that she would leave him.

His worries weren't unfounded. Lately M'Lynn had been waking up screaming during the night after having horrible nightmares. In each of them she saw Ben killing someone from the village. This past week it had gotten even worse when she saw Ben holding a gun to her younger brother's head and pulling the trigger. Try as she might, she was unable to erase the images from her mind.

She couldn't understand why she was having these dreams because she was sure that she understood why Ben had done what he did. If she accepted it, why was it haunting her so?

* * *

"_For my dreams I hold my life_

_For wishes I behold my nights_

_A truth at the end of time_

_Losing faith makes a crime"_

The next day M'Lynn was walking along the beach with Ben.

"Ben, you said that I was spared the fate of Dharma because I was special. Does that mean Isabel, Kelvin and Mikhail are special as well?"

"Yes, it does. To lose the four of you in the Purge would have been a waste."

M'Lynn tried to suppress her shudder when Ben said Purge. He had given it a proper title as if it was an important event, a holiday even.

"But why?" she asked. "Why am I special?"

"I can't tell you precisely why."

"Why can't you?"

"Because I don't know M'Lynn. Jacob said you would be important in the future."

"Wait." M'Lynn said stopping. "Who is Jacob?"

A serene smile came over Ben's face, "Jacob is a great man. He knows everything about the island."

"Why have I never met him?"

"He doesn't wish to be seen. Very few have ever met him."

"I don't understand Ben. I thought that you were the one in charge. Are you telling me that it's Jacob instead?"

Ben was becoming agitated at having to explain himself, "Think of me as a facilitator for him. I carry out his plans."

"If you carry out his plans then it wasn't your idea to kill everyone, it was his."

"No, that was my decision." Ben defended.

M'Lynn shook her head, "I don't believe you. Why would you decide to kill them all yourself unless someone had told you to do it? Someone put the idea into your head."

"He may have mentioned the idea but I was the one who carried it out."

"It doesn't matter Ben. It still goes back to Jacob. He is the one who killed my family. I want to see him. Take me to him right now."

"No." Ben stated.

"What?" M'Lynn said as she looked closely at him.

"I'm not taking you anywhere."

"Yes, you are. I want to meet the man who is responsible for the Purge. I deserve that much." M'Lynn cried as she made for the jungle.

"You won't be able to see him!" Ben yelled.

M'Lynn turned around slowly, "And what does that mean?"

"He won't appear for you." Ben shrugged.

M'Lynn walked back to Ben, "Are you telling me that you're the only one who can see Jacob?"

"Right now, yes." Ben nodded.

M'Lynn's eyes became wide and she knew she shouldn't push it any farther.

"Okay Ben. I'm sorry. Let's just forget this whole conversation. I thought I was over my anger but it looks like I still need to work on it a bit. Do you forgive me?"

Ben looked suspicious at her sudden change of heart but he didn't address it, "You know I do M'Lynn. Come, we should get back to the village before it gets dark."

* * *

"_Sorrow has a human heart_

_From my God it will depart_

_I'd sail before a thousand moons_

_Never finding where to go"_

"I'm telling you Mikhail, he is losing it. He thinks there is a man named Jacob on this island that only he can see. When I asked him to take me to him he refused." M'Lynn told Mikhail a few days later.

"How can you be so sure that he isn't telling the truth?" Mikhail asked.

"Not you too Mikhail. No, I believe that Ben thinks this Jacob is real."

"You've been on the same island as I M'Lynn and longer too. Surely you have seen a number of things that couldn't be explained easily."

"Why are you defending him Mikhail?"

"Let's just say that I can see his side of things and leave it at that." Mikhail said then went back to work.

"I should have known better than to talk to a man about another man." M'Lynn muttered as she walked away.

* * *

"_Two hundred twenty-two days of light_

_Will be desired by a night_

_A moment for the poet's play_

_Until there's nothing left to say"_

That same night M'Lynn was woken up to the sound of her own screaming. She dreamt again that Ben was on his killing rampage only this time he was killing her. She'd felt the cold metal of the gun against her temple before she woke up. She shot up in bed in fright only to realize that her dream had melded into reality.

"_I wish for this night-time to last for a life-time_

_The darkness around me - Shores of a solar sea_

_Oh how I wish to go down with the sun_

_Sleeping_

_Weeping_

_With you"_

Ben stood at the foot of the bed. He held a gun in his hand and he was aiming it at her heart.

"What are you doing?" she cried to him, her eyes still wet from the tears of her dream.

"What I must." He whispered sadly. "I'm sorry M'Lynn."

"Why?" she asked as she noticed his hand shaking.

"I thought I could make you see, make you understand the island. But you couldn't, you couldn't let it go."

M'Lynn tried to remain calm but was unable to as more tears fell down her cheeks, "Let what go?"

"The past."

"You don't want to kill me Ben. I love you."

"Love isn't always enough." Ben said as his hand stopped shaking and a sense of purpose flashed though his eyes.

"Please Ben, don't do this." She begged for her life.

"I love you M'Lynn." Ben breathed as closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. When he opened them, the spot where M'Lynn had sat was empty. She was gone.


	7. Just Like Murder

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

**A/N**-I had to change the ending of this chapter. I just didn't like how it came out and it really didn't work with the story line. So here is the new version!

Lyrics: "Just Like Murder" by Maktub

**Chapter 7-Just Like Murder**

"_You've changed for the better you say_

_Three words in a sea of regret_

_We used to think along the lines of something similar_

_And now it seems that we've forgotten why we share this earth_

_Is my saying something I have yet to know, cause when the truth goes into hiding I dread its return"_

M'Lynn ran for her life. She prayed that Ben didn't come after her. She ran barefoot through the jungle not bothering to keep her bearings. All that mattered was that she get away.

* * *

"_Forget all the promises made cause it doesn't seem to make a difference anyways_

_Your mind is darkening like the sky and when truth gets loose, people fall down someone gets hurt in the heat of the moment"_

Hours later M'Lynn finally felt like it was safe enough to stop and rest. She found a stream and knelt next to it. As she was drinking she noticed a reflection in the stream. A large pillar of black smoke was gathering above her.

M'Lynn stood and looked up at the smoke. She had never seen anything like it. It seemed to move of its own accord and she could swear it was watching her.

Suddenly it flew at her all at once and engulfed her. She tried to scream as it swirled around her but the smoke began to suffocate her. M'Lynn heard voices coming from the smoke.

"Leave her." One said.

"She needs to know." Came from another.

"She's not meant to know yet. Let her be."

"They'll find her and then she'll be dead."

"He doesn't want her dead, he will protect her."

"No! She will only be safe if she leaves the island."

"She can't!"

"She must!"

Outside of the fog M'Lynn heard another set of voices.

"She went this way. Come on!" She heard Richard call.

The voices in the fog began to speak again.

"They're coming! Let her go!"

"You must run!" one of them told her. "Now!"

M'Lynn listened and ran. She could hear Richard and his men coming after her but she didn't look back. As she ran, the strange voices kept playing in her head. One thing they said stood out in her mind.

'She will only be safe if she leaves the island.'

She no longer had a reason to stay on the island. Her family was long gone and Ben had tried to kill her. She would be crazy to go back to him and give him another chance. She really had no other choice. She would have to leave.

M'Lynn changed her course and made way for the village.

* * *

"_I see your face but its not like yesterday_

_And we feel the same but you tell me different_

_And I hope you'll stay ya_

_Cause when you take your love from me I swear its just like murder"_

"We lost her." Richard told Ben as he walked into his house.

"How could you possibly have lost her?" Ben asked.

"She was there, right in front of us and then she just wasn't."

"You know this island better than anyone and you're telling me you can't find one scared, defenseless woman?" Ben asked dangerously.

"You are the one who failed to kill her like you planned. Don't take out your frustration on me."

"This is M'Lynn; she's not trained to move about the jungle. This should be easy."

Richard sat down across from Ben, "Are you really the only one who hasn't seen the transformation M'Lynn has made in the past few weeks?"

"What do you mean Richard?"

"Ever since you forced her to dig that grave she has been different. She's become tougher, more resilient. She's not meek little M'Lynn any longer. I thought she was becoming more of the kind of woman you'd think you need. You of all people should have appreciated this change in her."

Ben shook his head, "M'Lynn didn't need to change anything for me to appreciate her."

"What I don't understand Ben is why you were going to kill her. You say you love her, you act like you love her, so why?"

Ben looked towards the bed he had shared with M'Lynn, "Every night she would wake up from these nightmares. They truly terrified her. I would hold her and try to soothe her, saying that it was only a dream. I would say these things as she shook in my arms, I'd say them and try to ignore the fact that she was screaming, 'Please Ben don't kill them.', as she woke."

"It is normal for her to be affected by the Purge. I don't see that as a reason to kill her."

"Do you think I wanted to kill her?" Ben yelled as he stood. "I would have given anything not to be given that task."

Richard looked up at Ben, "Are you telling me that…"

"Yes, that is precisely what I am saying. Jacob ordered me to kill her. He said she was a distraction, one I didn't need."

"Did you ever think that maybe Jacob was testing you?" Richard asked. "Maybe telling you to kill the woman you love was a test of your loyalty."

"Then I guess I passed." Ben said with guilt.

"No Ben, not a test of your loyalty to Jacob, but to M'Lynn."

Ben's eyes grew wide and he fell silent. Richard stood there with him. Finally after many minutes had passed Ben spoke, "Find her, please."

* * *

"_I see you're back at it again but all the twists and turns of fate can not destroy the enemy friend your mind is darkening like the sky when the truth gets loose it seems to never ever want to die"_

M'Lynn watched the men move supplies from the submarine to the dock. They moved quickly, like they were in a hurry. She saw Ethan, one of Ben's new recruits, exit the submarine. Ethan had shown up one day out of the blue. Ben introduced him as the camp's doctor. In truth he was quite a brilliant surgeon, very young, just out of school. M'Lynn found it funny how Ben explained he brought Ethan to help the camp but that Ethan was very rarely around. He could be seen frequently boarding the submarine on its journeys.

M'Lynn noticed all of the men had left the dock save Ethan. She looked around her to make sure she wasn't being watched and took off.

"Hi Ethan!" she called as she walked towards him at the end of the dock.

"Oh, hi M'Lynn. How are you?" he asked and she saw his cheeks blush. For whatever reason M'Lynn had discovered that Ethan had a small crush on her. She guessed it was a combination of him still being very young and that she, in his eyes, belonged to the boss. It didn't matter why; she was going to use it to her advantage.

"About to set off?" she asked him.

"Yep. Just stopped by to drop off some supplies, then we're off again." Ethan answered as he looked down at the clipboard in his hands.

"Where did everyone go?"

"I sent them home to pick up whatever they needed. They should be back in a few minutes."

"You know," M'Lynn began as she moved closer to Ethan, "I've never seen the inside of the sub. I bet it's terribly interesting."

Ethan glanced up at her, "Would you like to see inside?"

"I'd love to." She said with a smile.

'That was too easy.' M'Lynn thought to herself as she and Ethan climbed down the ladder. They could hear the men coming back to the dock as they reached the bottom.

"What's back there?" M'Lynn asked.

"Come on." Ethan said. "This is where everyone sleeps." He explained as he motioned at the small beds lining the walls.

"How interesting. Which one is yours?"

"This one right here." Ethan said as he turned his back to her and patted a bunk.

M'Lynn took her chance. She grabbed the gun sticking out of his waistband and hit him hard in the back of his head with it. Ethan fell to the ground, unconscious. M'Lynn could hear the men coming back down the dock so she worked quickly. She hefted Ethan up into his cot to make it look like he had fallen asleep. She finished just as the first of the men came down the ladder.

"Let's get going boys!" one of them called as M'Lynn moved further to the back of the sub.

"Where's the boss?" another asked.

One of the men walked back to the cots and saw Ethan, "He's taking a nap. We have our orders. Get this sub moving." He said and walked back up to the front.

M'Lynn knew if she was found she would be killed, or worse, taken back to Ben. She found a small corner cupboard that she just barely could fit in to. She squeezed into it and prepared for a long journey. She knew she was taking a huge risk but in the end it would be worth it. She would be off the island and safe.

"_When you take your love away from me I swear, it's just like murder."_


	8. Fall to Pieces

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Fall to Pieces" by Velvet Revolver

**Chapter 8-Fall to Pieces**

"_It's been a long year_

_Since you've been gone_

_I've been alone here_

_I've grown old_

_I fall to pieces, I'm falling _

_Fell to pieces and I'm still falling"_

M'Lynn didn't know how long the journey took. Hours felt like days as she stayed in her little hiding spot. Amazingly, Ethan had yet to wake up. She really hoped she hadn't hurt him too badly when she hit him, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

Finally, she felt the submarine stop and begin to surface just as she saw Ethan stirring. She crept from the cupboard and crouched behind one of the bunks holding her gun close.

Ethan sat up and felt the back of his head. His eyes began to dart around the small area. He stood and rushed into the control room.

"Where is she?" he all but yelled.

The men just looked at him. "Who?" one of them asked.

"M'Lynn, where is she?"

"You mean Ben's girl? Why would she be here?" Came from another.

"Because I needed to get off of the island." M'Lynn said as she stepped into the control room behind Ethan.

The men saw her gun and started reaching for theirs, "Leave them or I will shoot him." She told them as she motioned towards Ethan.

Ethan chuckled, "You're stuck on a sub M'Lynn, where do you think you are going to go? You can't escape this."

"Not by myself. That is why I need you to help me."

"You knocked me out and stole my gun. Why would I help you?" Ethan asked.

"Because you care about me."

Ethan shrugged, "What does that have to do with anything?"

M'Lynn took a breath, "I left the island, I ran, because Ben tried to kill me. He held a gun at me in the middle of the night and pulled the trigger. I was just able to get away. I can't go back because I'm terrified he'll want to finish what he started."

"Why would Ben want to kill you?"

"I don't know Ethan, but I know that I can't go back there. Please help me."

Ethan was quite for a long time then he nodded to one of his men, "Open the hatch."

"Thank you Ethan."

"I wouldn't thank me just yet, M'Lynn." He said as he turned towards the man at the controls, "Radio Ben, now."

The radio crackled to life, "Ethan?" they all heard Ben call.

"Yes Ben. We've just arrived at port."

"Good, good. Ethan, there seems to be a situation here. You didn't by any chance see M'Lynn before you left did you?" Ben asked as his voice got weak. M'Lynn's eyes grew wide as she could tell he was upset.

Ethan looked at her and quirked an eyebrow, "Why Ben, what is going on?"

"_I keep a journal of memories_

_I'm feeling lonely, I can't breathe_

_I fall to pieces, I'm falling_

_Fell to pieces and I'm still falling"_

Ben let out a ragged breath, "I'm afraid I have made a huge mistake. M'Lynn and I had a confrontation and I scared her quite badly. She ran from me and now we are unable to find her anywhere on the island. I just pray that she isn't hurt."

"Ben, you don't sound so good." Ethan offered.

"I'll be honest, I'm not. I didn't think losing her would affect me so much, but it has. I just need to find her. What I did to her was horrible and all I want to do is apologize." Ben finished in a whisper.

Tears began to form in M'Lynn's eyes. Never in all the time that she had known Ben had he been so forthcoming with his feelings. She believed what he was saying.

"I'm sorry to hear that Ben. I don't think anyone realized how much you love her." Ethan said as he stepped towards the radio.

"Of course I do. She's the one." Ben answered.

"_All the years I've tried_

_With more to go_

_Will the memories die_

_I'm waiting_

_Will I find you_

_Can I find you_

_We're falling down_

_I'm falling"_

"I hope you find her Ben. We'll hurry back so when can help. See you soon."

"Thank you Ethan."

"You're welcome Ben." Ethan said as he clicked off the radio and turned to M'Lynn.

"Do you still want to leave?" he asked.

By now tears were falling freely down M'Lynn's face as she replayed Ben's words inside her head. So he did love her and he seemed to regret what he had done, but it didn't change the fact that he had tried to kill her. If she went back would he try again? Would she ever feel safe on the island?

M'Lynn looked at Ethan and made the hardest, and possibly most foolish, decision of her life. "Open the door please."

Ethan shook his head in disappointment, "It's already open."

M'Lynn nodded and move towards the ladder that would take her to freedom, "I'm sorry about your head."

"I'll be fine." Ethan told her. "Goodbye M'Lynn."

"Goodbye." She said before turning and climbing the ladder.

Once she got to the top she scrambled from the top of the submarine onto the dock that waited next to it. She looked around her and recognized the skyline of the large city. They had stopped in Miami, Florida.

M'Lynn jumped as she heard the submarine door slam loudly behind her. Within moments it had disappeared beneath the water. She tried to fight the panic that threatened to overwhelm her. She looked around helplessly. She was alone.

"_Every time I'm falling down_

_All alone I fall to pieces"_


	9. Mourning

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Mourning" by Tantric

**Chapter 9-Mourning**

"_Is there something that you are trying to say?_

_Don't hold back now_

_It's been a long time since I felt this way_

_So don't hold back now_

_I purposely forgot about_

_Loving anyone_

_Cause I'm the only one who has_

_Who has been stepped upon"_

5 years later…

M'Lynn looked one last time at the papers she held in her hand before throwing them into the fire that burned brightly in the fireplace.

Another dead end. How many had she come across in the last three years? She'd lost count. Every lead and tip she'd received about Mittelos Bioscience had been a waste of time. They had gotten her nowhere.

M'Lynn ran her hands through her hair. What was she going to do now?

* * *

"_I'll crawl back into my cave_

_That's how I'll make it_

_Cause out of all this hurt we have_

_Beauty thus become_

_Beauty thus become_

_In the mourning I can see the sights_

_No wonder I could never keep you satisfied_

_In the mourning I can see inside_

_Myself and all the things that you were trying to hide"_

4 years ago…

"Please take me with you." M'Lynn pleaded to the man in front of her.

Ethan stood and shook his head, "I'm sorry but you had your chance."

"I was wrong, I made a mistake!"

"It was your decision to make. You wanted to leave." Ethan argued.

"I never should have left."

Ethan shrugged and walked to the door, "I'm sorry M'Lynn, but it's too late. He's moved on."

"No!" M'Lynn cried. "He still loves me, I know he does!"

"You're not meant to go back. You are going to have to accept that." Ethan explained as he opened the door and looked back at her. She saw the pity in his eyes as he turned away from her and left the room.

"Ethan!" M'Lynn yelled. "Please come back! Take me back to him, take me back to Ben! I need to go back to the island!"

M'Lynn continued to yell as tears fell down her face.

"Please." She repeated over and over until her voice fell to a whisper.

She pulled uselessly at the chains that bound her wrists, the handcuffs cutting into her skin.

A guard walked into the room and unlatched her chains from the heavy metal table. M'Lynn stood as the guard pulled her towards the door.

"Come on M'Lynn." She said. "Let's get you back to your cell."

* * *

"_Wishing all the best for you_

_And now I will say goodbye_

_Cause all the shit that we've been through_

_Put wisdom in my eyes"_

Ben stepped out of his house and met Ethan on the front porch.

"Well?" he asked.

"It went fine." Ethan answered.

"Did you see her?" Ben asked anxiously.

"Yes."

"Was she alright?"

"She was fine. She's set up in her new life."

"Did you tell her?"

Ethan nodded, "I told her how you felt. That you still cared for her very much and would like her to come back to the island."

"What did she say?"

Ethan looked down, "She's moved on Ben. I'm sorry."

Ben shook his head, "I should have expected as much." He said with disappointment. "Thank you for trying Ethan." Ben said before going back into his house.

* * *

"_So walk away, don't turn around_

_Cause I won't be standing here_

_Cause all the lies that I've been living through_

_Are becoming very clear"_

Richard handed Ethan a drink and sat down across from him at the kitchen table.

"So what did you tell Ben?" he asked.

"I told him exactly what we discussed. He believes M'Lynn has gotten over him and moved on."

"Good. What kind of shape is she in?"

"She's in jail Richard, how do you think she is?"

"That bad?"

"She's a wreck. She begged me to bring her back with me. She's still in love with Ben, there is no doubt."

Richard was silent.

"_Then you conned me into thinking_

_That all I had was you_

_The small insinuations_

_Were cutting me through_

_Cutting me through"_

"Are you sure we are doing the right thing keeping them apart?" Ethan wondered.

Richard looked up, "She was a distraction. Trust me Ethan, it is better this way."


	10. Rehab

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Rehab" by Rihanna

**Chapter 10-Rehab**

"_Baby baby_

_When we first met I never felt something so strong_

_You were like my lover and my best friend_

_All wrapped in one with a ribbon on it_

_And all of a sudden you went and left_

_I didn't know how to follow_

_It's like a shock that spun me around_

_And now my heart's dead_

_I feel so empty and hollow"_

M'Lynn took a deep breathe as she stepped onto the plane. This was her last chance. Going to Sydney was her last ditch effort before she gave up for good.

* * *

"_I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you_

_You don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you?_

_It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back_

_And you're the one to blame"_

3 years ago…

Turning the water off in the sink M'Lynn looked up into the mirror in front of her. Her appearance had changed drastically in the last two years. About two months ago, after she had been released from jail, she'd decided she needed a change. So she died her dark brown hair a vibrant red and began to wear glasses instead of contacts. The most drastic thing she'd done was cut her hair. Her once nearly waist length hair had gone in favor of a chin length bob.

'Ben would hardly recognize me now.' She thought but then realized that he wouldn't care. According to Ethan, he'd forgotten her long ago.

M'Lynn's eyes darkened when she thought of Ethan. Not only had he refused to take her back to the island, but he had left her to rot in jail without a second thought.

M'Lynn shook the thoughts out of her head. Now wasn't the time to think about the past. She had work to do.

* * *

"_Damn, ain't it crazy when you're loveswept_

_You'd do anything for the one you love_

_'Cause anytime that you needed me I'd be there_

_It's like you were my favorite drug_

_The only problem is that you was using me_

_In a different way than I was using you_

_But now that I know it's not meant to be_

_I gotta go, I gotta wean myself off of you."_

M'Lynn exited the Sydney airport in a hopeful mood. She saw the nearest taxi and jumped into it. She gave the driver the address, "Sam Tooney's please."

* * *

"_It's like I checked into rehab_

_And baby, you're my disease"_

Two days later M'Lynn was standing in the check-in line at the airport.

"Did you enjoy your stay in Sydney?" the clerk behind the counter asked.

M'Lynn glared up at her, "Not quite, no."

The woman was taken back, "I'm sorry to hear that ma'am. Here is your ticket."

M'Lynn took the ticket and looked down at it.

"Flight 815." She read aloud. "How ironic."


	11. Wake Up

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Wake Up" by Coheed and Cambria

**Chapter 11-Wake Up**

"_I'm going to ride this plane out of your life again._

_I wish that I could stay but you argue._

_More than this I wish you could've seen my face_

_In backseat staring out the window."_

2 years ago…

"I don't care about your rules, let me inside!" M'Lynn yelled at the guard who stood outside the gate.

She looked up at the sign on the building, Mittelos Bioscience.

"You have to let me in!" she demanded.

"I can't do that. You don't have authorization."

"You don't understand. I need to get inside of that building."

"What's going on here?" M'Lynn heard a familiar voice asked.

She turned around to see Richard, who hadn't aged a day, coming towards her.

"Hello M'Lynn."

"Richard, please let me in."

"Why?"

"I have to find a way back."

"For what? He doesn't want you anymore M'Lynn."

"Stop lying to me Richard. Just let me in."

"It's not going to happen. You've been trying to get back for how long now? Over a year? Deal with reality M'Lynn. You're never going back to the island."

* * *

"_So leave yourself intact_

_'Cause I will be coming back._

_In a phrase to cut these lips,_

_I love you."_

As M'Lynn took her seat on the plane she thought back to Richard's cruel words. It seemed he had been right, she wasn't ever going to find a way back to her beloved island. It was her own fault; she'd been a fool to leave in the first place. She argued with herself that she had been afraid, afraid of what Ben and what the voices in the jungle had told her. She shouldn't have listened to them, she had been miserable ever since she left.

Since she had been released from jail she had been on a quest to get back. She searched everywhere for a way, for any hope of completing her task. Meeting with Sam Tooney had been her last chance. She believed her could have helped her too if he hadn't of died only a month before her arrival.

M'Lynn ignored the other passengers as they boarded the plane and closed her eyes. As soon as she did an image of Ben popped into her mind. The same image she saw every time she closed her eyes. She couldn't escape him and she found that she didn't want to. If she had any luck at all, the plane would crash and she wouldn't have to search anymore.

* * *

"_I've earned through hope and faith_

_The curves around your face_

_That I'm the one you'll hold forever._

_If morning never comes for either one of us,_

_Then this I pray to you wherever."_

"Don't enjoy flying?" the man next to her asked a while after they had taken off.

M'Lynn opened her eyes and glanced over. "I don't mind either way." She answered.

"I'm not a huge fan myself." He admitted with a small smile.

"You should have picked a shorter flight."

"I didn't have a choice."

"Why is that?" M'Lynn asked trying to take her mind off her own woes.

The man's face darkened, "I had to pick something up. I'm delivering it home."

M'Lynn took in the man's black suit and had a good idea what he was delivering.

"I'm Jack." He said and offered his hand across the seat.

As M'Lynn looked at him she admitted that he was very handsome. He was the type of man she felt herself drawn to and once upon a time she may have considered flirting with him and seeing where things went. But now her heart belonged to Ben. Well, more like it was wasted on Ben.

"M'Lynn." She said and smiled.

"That's an interesting name." Jack commented. "So M'Lynn, why were you in Sydney?"

M'Lynn started to answer but was interrupted when the plane gave a violent shake. M'Lynn's eyes widened and she clutched the armrests of her seat.

"It's okay. Just a little turbulence." Jack said.

The plane jolted again and again. When the yellow masks dropped from the ceiling M'Lynn knew this was more than turbulence.

Without warning the plane dropped at least fifty feet before leveling out again.

M'Lynn's eyes shot over to Jack and his eyes met hers. His worried gaze was the last thing she remembered before everything went black.

* * *

"_The morning will come_

_In the press of every kiss_

_With your head upon my chest_

_Where I will annoy you_

_With every waking breath_

_Until you decide to wake up."_

M'Lynn was woken by a woman screaming. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around. What she saw was chaos. People ran in every direction, many of them covered in blood. She stood and checked herself for injuries. Apart from a few cuts she seemed alright. She spun in a circle trying to grasp what was happening. She froze when she saw the wreckage of the plane. Out of the corner of her eye she saw someone familiar. Jack ran out of the trees and stopped to survey the disaster.

M'Lynn's eyes left him as she noticed what lay behind him. A massive jungle, overshadowed by the looming mountains. She could hear the crashing of the ocean above the angry whine of the engine behind her. She couldn't believe it, it was an island.

They had crashed on an island.

"_I'll do anything for you._

_This story is for you."_


	12. Home

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

**Chapter 12-Home**

Lyrics: "Home" by Depeche Mode

"_Here is a song from the wrong side of town_

_Where I'm bound to the ground by the loneliest sound_

_And it pounds from within and is pinning me down"_

M'Lynn was pulled out of her trance by someone yelling her name.

"M'Lynn!"

She looked down to see Jack's hand gripping her upper arm. Her eyes slowly moved up to his face.

"M'Lynn are you hurt?" Jack yelled over the noise.

M'Lynn shook her head.

"Good, come on, they are going to need our help!" Jack said as he ran towards the fuselage.

M'Lynn looked longingly back at the jungle before turning and joining Jack.

* * *

"_It is a page from the emptiest stage_

_A cage of the heaviest cross ever made_

_A cage of the deadliest trap ever laid"_

"Hey." Jack said hours later as he sat next to M'Lynn. Night had fallen and she was sitting next to the fire, gazing into the jungle.

"Hey yourself." M'Lynn smiled. "How is everyone?"

"Shaken." Jack admitted. "Wondering where the rescue boats are, of course. You helped them a lot today."

"I just followed your lead. I'm no doctor."

Jack smiled, "What do you do, when you're not saving people from burning wreckage?"

"Once upon a time I studied animals. I guess you could call me a zoologist."

"Not anymore?"

"The last few years I have been occupied with something else."

"What is that?" Jack asked, genuinely interested.

M'Lynn looked back to the dark jungle, "Research."

* * *

"_The heat and the sickliest sweet smelling sheets_

_That cling to the backs of my knees and my feet_

_Well I'm drowning in time to a desperate beat"_

Two days later M'Lynn walked up to Jack, a man named Sayid and some others.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Sayid was able to get the transmitter working." Jack told her.

"It works, but I will have to take it to higher ground to pick up anything." Sayid explained.

M'Lynn nodded, "I'll go with you."

"You know about islands?" Sayid asked.

M'Lynn smiled sadly, "I know a thing or two."

* * *

"_It's the only true friend I call mine_

_And pretends that I'll make amends the next time_

_The friend of the glorious sin of the light"_

In the end they had quite a group.

Sayid, M'Lynn, Sawyer, Kate, Charlie. Shannon and Boone. M'Lynn didn't know anymore about them than their names.

They set off well enough, though M'Lynn thought that most of them talked too much. As they walked through the jungle M'Lynn's thoughts ran wild.

Was it just a coincidence that M'Lynn had been desperately seeking an island and her plane had crashed on one? Or could this really be her island? Was it possible that Ben was only miles away? Had she finally found her way back to him?

M'Lynn shook the thoughts out of her head. It was absurd to think that this was anything but just another island.

M'Lynn looked up to see that everyone had stopped and had fallen silent. M'Lynn listened carefully and heard what they were listening to, an odd mix between a grunt and a growl. The hairs on the back of her arms stood on end. She'd heard that sound before.

"Run." She sad quietly, trying not to draw its attention.

Shannon turned to her, "What?"

"Run!" she yelled as the bear jumped through the bushes only ten yards away.

Everyone listened to her and ran, everyone except Sawyer. At first M'Lynn didn't realize he wasn't with them. Then she heard the gunshots. She turned around and watched the huge beast fall to the ground.

"Are you insane?" she yelled and she ran back. "He could have killed you!"

"Well he didn't! And how do you know it's a 'he'?" Sawyer said sarcastically.

M'Lynn ignored him and slowly approached the bear. When she was certain it was no longer moving she fell to her knees beside him. She ran her hands through the thick white fur. There was no doubt that it was a polar bear.

"_And I thank you for bringing me here_

_For showing me home_

_For singing these tears_

_Finally I've found that I belong here"_

Tears welled in M'Lynn's eyes as she looked at her proof and finally gave in to the thoughts that had been haunting her at the back of her mind. She buried her face in the polar bear's fur and cried.

She was home.

"_I should have known_

_From my first breath"_


	13. Bridle

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

**Chapter 13-Bridle**

Lyrics: "Bridle" by Sage Francis

"_Maze broken_

_She's running_

_Feet swollen_

_He's coming_

_She's stolen_

_And before he even knows it she's gone._

_Tea cups sitting on the hollow tree stumps_

_He's dumped, and cant seem to swallow these lumps_

_The beat goes on"_

Five more days passed and M'Lynn continued as if she'd never been to the island before. She wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to get back to Ben more than anything but at the same time she was afraid. What if what Richard and Ethan had told her was true? What if Ben didn't love her anymore?

* * *

"_Same fire_

_New passion_

_Old flame_

_Trade it in for a summer fling_

_There's nothing like that sweet old song"_

M'Lynn continued to gather firewood alone out in the jungle; lost in her thoughts.

She stood up and came face to face with the last person she wanted to see. Ethan looked back at her. His face showed the shock he felt at seeing her.

"Ethan?" M'Lynn said warily.

Ethan came back to himself and was at her side in a second.

"What are you doing here?" he growled.

M'Lynn was surprised by his open hostility. "I crashed with the plane."

Ethan's arm shot up and his hand wrapped around her throat. He threw her up against a tree and held her there.

"_Tip over_

_Root the trees_

_Bend the leaves_

_Blend in with the open wound_

_The freeze frames keep him warm"_

"You expect me to believe that? How did you find the island?"

"I didn't!" M'Lynn cried. "I was just on the plane, then it crashed here. Why are you here? You weren't on the plane."

"He sent me of course. You think he would watch a plane fall from the sky and do nothing?" Ethan scoffed.

M'Lynn's eyes lit up, "You mean Ben?"

"Who else?"

"Ethan, will you take me to him please?"

Ethan's grip on M'Lynn's throat tightened.

"No, I will not. Remove that idea from your mind."

"Why? I'm here now. Why stop me?"

"Are you ever going to understand? We're not going to allow you near him, ever."

"But why?" M'Lynn cried.

"Jacob doesn't think you are good enough for him. You are a distraction."

"I never meant to be!"

"Too late. I should kill you now and get it over with."

"_Now he's idling _

_His time is dwindling_

_In his mind he's figuring out life's about the little things _

_And his labyrinth _

_And all his magnificent can only keep the mice trapped_

_The princess is innocent_

_She doesn't belong"_

"Ethan please!"

"That's enough! If you try to reach Ben, if you go looking for him, you'll regret it. And if you tell anyone about me, who I really am or who you really are, then I really will kill you. Do you understand?"

M'Lynn's whole body shook but she managed to nod.

"Good." Ethan said as he loosened his grip.

"M'Lynn?" they both heard from the jungle and moving closer.

"It's Jack." M'Lynn whispered.

"M'Lynn?" Jack called again as he was nearly upon them.

Ethan smirked at M'Lynn. With his free hand he grabbed her button up shirt and ripped it open. He closed the small distance between them and crushed his mouth to hers. He deepened the kiss when he heard Jack enter the small clearing where they stood. His hands went from her throat to cradling her head. M'Lynn felt his smile and knew he was enjoying torturing her. She tried to pull away but his strong body pinned her to the tree.

Jack let out of soft, "Oh.", when he spotted them. Anyone would have thought they had stumbled across two lovers having a tryst in the jungle.

"I'm sorry." Jack said. "I didn't mean to intrude."

Ethan pulled back, then kissed her hard one more time, mocking her. Then Ethan released her and turned to find Jack.

"Oh!" Ethan said innocently. "How embarrassing."

"It's okay." Jack said, clearly surprised to see M'Lynn with Ethan. "I'll go."

"No." M'Lynn said. "Stay, its fine."

"I'll go." Jack repeated and walked away into the jungle.

Once he was gone Ethan turned back to her.

"Now I know why Ben was so enthralled with you all those years ago."

M'Lynn just glared at him, too angry to speak.

"Remember what I said." Ethan warned as he left her alone in the jungle.

Once she was out of the mocking glare of Ethan M'Lynn sank to the ground, buried her head in her hands and cried.

"_I never thought I'd miss you."_


	14. Open Your Eyes

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol

**Chapter 14-Open You Eyes**

"_All this feels strange and untrue_

_And I won't waste a minute without you_

_My bones ache, my skin feels cold_

_And I'm getting so tired and so old_

_The anger swells in my guts_

_And I won't feel these slices and cuts_

_I want so much to open your eyes_

_Cause I need you to look into mine"_

"No!" M'Lynn screamed as she watched Ethan fall to the ground, at least four prominent gun shot wounds showing on his chest.

M'Lynn charged Charlie and knocked him to the ground. Once on top of him she punched him as hard as she could, her hand colliding violently with his nose. His hands raced up to protect his face and he dropped his gun.

M'Lynn grabbed it and jumped to her feet pointing the gun at him, "Why?" she yelled desperately, "Why did you do it?"

Charlie just looked at her, blood running freely from his nose.

"M'Lynn, what are you doing?" she heard.

The rain was so loud M'Lynn had to search for who was speaking to her. She finally found Jack standing to her side. The water clouded her eyes making it difficult to see his face.

M'Lynn turned back to Charlie, "We needed him!" she yelled over the rain. "He could have told us about them."

"He was crazy!" Charlie finally spoke.

"So we shoot him? Maybe I think you're a little crazy Charlie, should I shoot you?"

M'Lynn held her gun closer to Charlie's chest. She noticed Jack take a step closer to her but she ignored him.

"You're not going to shoot me." Charlie stated, but M'Lynn could tell that he was nervous. "I used all of the bullets."

"Did you?" M'Lynn countered, "By my count there is still one left."

M'Lynn and Charlie stared at each other for a moment. M'Lynn knew that none of the others would shoot her to stop her from killing Charlie. She had proven herself valuable since they had crashed and Charlie hadn't. Jack might try to stop her, but he would do so without hurting her.

Finally she lowered the gun.

"You're a fool." She spat at Charlie before walking over to Ethan and kneeling next to him.

Despite the cleansing rain, the water around him ran red. His empty eyes stared up at her and she raised a gentle hand to close them.

She was thankful for the rain; it hid the tears that were running down her face. No one there could have understood why she was crying. Ethan had been her last chance of getting to Ben. There was no way that Jack or the others would let her leave now. If she was to disappear into the jungle they would be sure to come after her.

M'Lynn cried harder. Here she was, so close to the man she loved, but she felt powerless to do anything about it.

"M'Lynn?" Sayid asked keeping his distance.

M'Lynn ran her hands over her face trying to wipe her emotions away. She stood and turned towards everyone. None of them noticed her pocket the key she'd found around Ethan's neck. She walked past everyone else and went to Charlie.

"You bury him." She demanded before leaving them all in the rain.

* * *

"_Get up, get out, get away from these liars_

_Cause they don't get your soul or your fire Instant Song Lyrics_

_Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine_

_And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time_

_Every minute from this minute now_

_We can do what we like anywhere_

_I want so much to open your eyes_

_Cause I need you to look into mine"_

"You okay?" Jack asked the next day.

"I'm fine." M'Lynn lied. "Why do you ask?"

"You were pretty upset yesterday. Was is because you were so close to Ethan or because you found out that he was one of them?"

M'Lynn sighed. Jack had never forgotten when he caught Ethan and Mel together in the jungle. She glanced across the beach to where Charlie was talking to Claire.

"What I felt for Ethan doesn't matter. It's Charlie. He ruined our one chance to find out about these other people. Since when is our fate being determined by a drug addict?"

"He just wanted to protect Claire. He wasn't thinking."

"Clearly." M'Lynn scoffed.

Jack looked at her, "You're acting like Ethan didn't kill two of us and kidnap Claire. You're acting like he didn't deserve to die."

"You're girl Kate murdered someone, should we take her into the jungle and shoot her as well?"

Jack shook his head, "That's different."

"Is it? So what makes Ethan different from Kate?"

"His act was malicious."

"You don't know that Jack. He could have had a reason."

"Are you defending him?"

"I'm just saying that he may have been doing what he felt needed to be done."

"For what purpose?" Jack asked in disbelief.

M'Lynn looked out over the ocean, surprised that Jack could be so blind, "For the same thing we have been fighting for since we crashed here, survival."

"_Tell me that you'll open your eyes"_


	15. The Story

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: The Story by Brandi Carlile

**Chapter 15-The Story**

"_All of these lines across my face_

_Tell you the story of who I am_

_So many stories of where I've been_

_And how I got to where I am_

_But these stories don't mean anything_

_When you've got no one to tell them to_

_It's true...I was made for you"_

"M'Lynn, get the number from him!" Jack yelled.

M'Lynn nodded and took off after the man who had just rushed past her. She wasn't positive what number Jack meant but she followed him anyway.

Finally she caught up with him, "Wait, please!" she called.

She was surprised when he actually stopped.

"Thank you." She gasped as they both caught their breath.

The man didn't move his eyes from her.

"I don't want to hurt you." She promised, "I don't even have a weapon."

He acted like he hadn't heard her, "Do I know you sista?" he asked with a strong Scottish accent.

M'Lynn shook her head, sure she hadn't seen him before, "I don't think so."

"I'm sure I've seen you before. You look different now, but I'm sure of it." He said.

"What is your name?" M'Lynn asked.

"Desmond Hume." He answered, "Yours?"

"M'Lynn Thoreau."

Recognition came to Desmond's eyes at her name, "Aye, it is you. Sweet M'Lynn." He mused.

The nickname caught her attention, "What did you say?"

"_I climbed across the mountain tops_

_Swam all across the ocean blue_

_I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules_

_And baby I broke them all for you_

_Oh because even when I was flat broke_

_You made me feel like a million bucks_

_You do and I was made for you"_

"Kelvin talked about you constantly, you and his girl. Had a picture that he kept with him all of the time."

M'Lynn filled with hope for the first time in weeks, "You've met Kelvin?"

"Aye sista, he saved me when my boat wrecked. Brought me to the hatch."

M'Lynn thought back to the day that they had gone with Kelvin to the hatch. Surely he hadn't been down there all this time.

"You said he carried a picture?"

"Never let it out of his sight. You were in it standing next to Kelvin; there was a man who wore a patch."

"Mikhail." M'Lynn whispered at the thought of her old friend.

"And another woman, she had long blonde hair that Kelvin couldn't shut up about."

"Isabel!" M'Lynn exclaimed.

"That's her. He talked of you all of the time, claimed you were his princess. But her, Isabel, it was plain he truly loved her, she was his queen."

"I knew it." M'Lynn said, remembering how Isabel would blush whenever someone mentioned Kelvin. She was glad they had found happiness together.

"You really knew them then?" Desmond asked.

"Yes." M'Lynn smiled, "It seems like a lifetime ago. Where is Kelvin?"

Desmond's face darkened, "I'm sorry love, he didn't make it."

"He's dead?" M'Lynn asked in disbelief. Tears instantly sprang to her eyes, "Are you sure?"

"Aye. I've been alone in the hatch for over a year now."

"What about the others? Isabel and Mikhail?"

"Kelvin didn't know what became of them. He hadn't seen them in years."

M'Lynn looked down, so Kelvin and Isabel hadn't lived happily. She wondered if anyone did on this island.

"I'm sorry sista, but I've got to run."

"Of course, thank you Desmond, for telling me about Kelvin."

Desmond walked up to her. He raised his hand slowly and wiped a tear from her cheek. "I regret having to cause you pain Sweet M'Lynn."

M'Lynn closed her eyes, remembering the last time she'd seen Kelvin; he used his nickname for her.

"Kelvin's picture is still in the hatch. It's on the bookshelf hidden between the pages of "Utopia". I think he put it there because the three of you were his personal utopia. He'd want you to have it."

M'Lynn nodded, "I'll find it, thank you."

Desmond smiled, "I'll see you in another life, sista." He said as he turned away.

"Wait!" M'Lynn thought at the last minute.

"Aye?" he said turning.

"Can you tell me the number?" she asked.

"The computer is broken love."

"Just in case?"

Desmond nodded and rattled off a series of numbers as if he had been saying them for years. Then, he was gone.

M'Lynn walked back to where she had seen Jack, repeating the numbers out loud so she wouldn't forget them, "4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42."

"_You see the smile that's on my mouth_

_It's hiding the words that don't come out_

_And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed_

_They don't know my head is a mess_

_No, they don't know who I really am_

_And they don't know what I've been through like you do_

_And I was made for you..."_


	16. All I Need

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: Say(All I Need) by OneRepublic

**Chapter 15-All I Need**

"_Do you know where your heart is?_

_Do you think you can find it?_

_Or did you trade it for something, somewhere, better just to have it?_

_Do you know where your love is?_

_Do you think that you lost it?_

_You felt it so strong but nothing's, turned out how you want it"_

It took a few weeks before M'Lynn was able to look for Kelvin's picture. Someone was always in the hatch with her and she had to focus all of her energy on acting like she had never been there before. In truth, the hatch looked just how it had the last time she had seen it. The only thing that had changed was the large mural that covered an entire wall. M'Lynn somehow knew that Kelvin had painted it and it pained her to see the desperation in the images.

"_Well bless my soul_

_You're a lonely soul_

_'Cause you won't let go, of anything you hold_

_Well, all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head"_

It was late afternoon one day when she found herself alone on number duty. She went instantly to the small bookshelf and scanned the titles. Utopia stood out from the rest with bold gold lettering. With a shaky hand she pulled the book from the shelf. She thumbed through the pages and recognized Kelvin's cramped handwriting covering the pages. Finally the book fell open to a page nearly halfway through. There, stuck in between the pages, was the picture.

Kelvin, Isabel and Mikhail smiled up at her. She remembered the day the picture had been taken, over a year before the purge when they still had something to smile about. She studied her own face. Desmond had been right, she did look different now. She couldn't remember a time when she had been so happy, at least not since she had left the island.

"_Do you know what you're fate is?_

_And now you're trying to shake it?_

_You're doing you're best dance, your best look_

_You're praying that you'll make it"_

M'Lynn removed the picture and placed the book back on the shelf, she'd have to look at it closer later. She folded the picture carefully and slid it into her back pocket. It wouldn't do her any good if someone else found it. She turned and walked into the kitchen where she saw Sayid and John Locke. She went around the counter and saw Jack kneeling on the floor next to a man. She hadn't even noticed them come in.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Sayid brought this man in from the jungle. Rousseau claims that he is one of them." Locke explained.

"Rousseau?" M'Lynn wondered as she kneeled next to Jack. He was tending to a bad wound in the man's shoulder.

"Who shot him?"

"Rousseau did as he tried to escape."

M'Lynn's mind raced. The people she knew, who she had lived with after the purge, didn't run away from anyone. Who could this man be?

"Sayid, will you help me?" Jack asked.

Sayid and Jack rolled the unconscious man over and picked him up. M'Lynn gasped out loud when she saw his face. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. She felt tears come to her eyes.

John noticed and come up to her as Jack and Sayid carried the man into the empty armory.

"Are you okay, M'Lynn?" he asked.

M'Lynn though of a quick cover, "I'm fine. I guess I just wasn't expecting him to look so bad."

"Well, he's been hanging in a net for the past day or two; he's bound to look a little worn."

"You're right." She answered but she was hardly listening to him.

She had finally found him. She had finally found Ben.

"_Well bless my soul_

_You're a lonely soul_

_'Cause you won't let go, of anything you hold_

_Well, all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head_

_Say all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head"_

M'Lynn was pulled out of her private celebration by the armory door slamming shut.

"Sayid!" Jack yelled.

M'Lynn felt panic rise in her chest when Jack was unable to unlock the door.

"What is he doing?" she asked John who stood calmly.

"Sayid is doing what needs to be done. We need to know if that man is one of them."

"Where are the pliers?" Jack asked.

M'Lynn's eyes widened as she remembered what Sayid had done to Sawyer not long ago.

"No!" she yelled. "We can't let him torture that man." She stopped herself from saying, Ben.

"Unlock the door John." Jack demanded.

"No Jack."

M'Lynn heard yelling from the armory and ran to the door.

"Sayid!" she yelled and banged her hands against the thick metal. She heard Ben yelling for him to stop and saying that he didn't understand.

"Sayid, open the door, you can't do this!" she cried.

She continued to hit the door until her fists started to ache. All she could do was listen as Sayid tortured the man she loved.

"Please." She whispered as tears fell down her face. She shuddered every time she heard Ben cry for help.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, M'Lynn heard the computer start to beep. She jumped to her feet and looked at Jack who had the same idea she did.

Jack grabbed John and threw him against the wall.

"You better unlock the door John, who knows what will happen if you don't enter the numbers." M'Lynn said.

After a few more threats from Jack, John raced to unlock the door. Once it was open Jack ran in and stopped Sayid from hitting Ben and pulled him out of the room.

The hatch fell silent as Sayid and Ben started at each other.

"Jack, get him out of here please." M'Lynn said and Jack led Sayid to the door.

"_Do you think I can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it, better than you had it?"_

M'Lynn felt Ben's eyes hot on her back as she filled a bowl with hot water and grabbed a rag. She didn't look at him until she had entered the armory and shut the door behind her. Ben looked up at her, his eyes betraying no emotion.

"I knew it was you when you started yelling at the door." He started. "I thought I was imagining your voice." He near whispered.

M'Lynn felt her chest constrict at the sight of him. Despite being bloodied and bruised he still looked just like the man she had fallen in love with all those years ago.

M'Lynn set the bowl down and kneeled in front of Ben. He watched her carefully as she lightly touched his face, confirming that he was real.

"I thought I would never see you again." She said softly.

"You crashed on the plane?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Your name wasn't on the manifest."

"I changed it when I was released from prison."

Ben's eyes grew large, "You were in prison?"

"They didn't even tell you? Richard and Ethan both knew. I was there for three years. Ethan even saw me at the prison."

"They never said a thing. Obviously, I shouldn't have trusted them to find you."

"I'm here now." M'Lynn smiled.

"I will admit that I missed you." Ben said seriously.

M'Lynn couldn't hold herself back any longer; she leaned forward and kissed Ben softly on his lips, careful of his injuries. When she pulled back she noted the surprise on his face.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"Dear M'Lynn, you have no need to apologize to me."

"I just can't believe I finally found you. I've been searching for so long." She whispered.

Ben looked curious but didn't push the subject.

M'Lynn retrieved the bowl and rag and started to clean Ben's cuts. She felt foolish for imagining a passionate reunion between them. She had to remember that Ben was no longer in love with her. He had moved on.

"Can I ask you something?" Ben said.

"Yes."

"Why were you in prison?"

M'Lynn looked away and closed her eyes.

"I was arrested for murdering a man. Moriaty." She spat.

"What?" Ben asked, "What was his full name?"

M'Lynn shook her head, "They were all such fools. His name was Dean, Dean Moriaty."

"_Do you know where the end is?_

_Do you think you can see it?_

_Well, until you get there, go on, go ahead and scream it_

_Just say..."_


	17. Stand By Your Side

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Stand By Your Side" by Celine Dion

**Chapter 17-Stand By Your Side**

"_I cry and you comfort me_

_I'm lost and you hear my scream_

_So it's hard to watch you falling_

_When you run so deep in me_

_You live in me"_

"What do you mean you're Dean Moriaty?" M'Lynn whispered.

"Moriaty is one of my aliases." Ben explained.

"Aliases for what?"

"For when I leave the island."

"You leave the island?" M'Lynn said in shock.

"From time to time, it's not something I like to advertise."

M'Lynn thought for a moment, "They set me up."

Ben nodded, "Tell me what happened."

"_Gonna stand by your side now  
Let me kiss all your tears away  
You can stay in my arms now  
And I know I can make you believe again"_

M'Lynn began her story. She first told Ben about her escape and how she had heard the conversation between him and Ethan on the submarine.

"I should have stayed then. I could tell that you were sorry, but I was so scared. Ethan left me in Florida. I was there for only two days before the police picked me up. They said I fit the description of a woman who had just killed a man. They arrested me. It didn't look good that I had no identification. They claimed they had found DNA at the sight where they found the body and it matched mine. It was all terribly convenient, so they threw me into prison."

"_I walk but you can run through fire  
I search for reasons and baby you inspire  
But I know somebody hurt you  
And I know you really need a friend  
Well you can take my hand"_

Ben took M'Lynn's hand, "I'm so sorry M'Lynn."

"You know, the entire time I thought it was bad luck. That I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It never crossed my mind that Richard and Ethan could have set me up."

The last time I sent Ethan to check on you he came back and told me that you had moved on, you'd started a new life." Ben said softly.

"The last time I saw Ethan I had already been in prison for two years. He walked out on me as I begged him for help."

Ben looked puzzled.

"You know why they did it, don't you?"

Ben shook his head, "No."

M'Lynn was surprised that for once Ben wasn't all knowing.

"It was because of Jacob, we've been kept apart because of him. He thinks I am a distraction."

"No, he only told me to kill you as a test. He wanted to see if I would resist, he was testing my loyalty to you."

"Who told you that?"

"Richard." Ben answered; then grew quiet.

"Don't you see? They have done everything they could to keep us separated. They don't want us together. Ethan was willing to kill me to keep me from seeing you."

"You spoke with Ethan?"

"Of course I did, the bastard. He had the entire camp thinking we were lovers."

Ben's grip on her hand tightened.

"I was there when they killed him." M'Lynn added.

"What did you do when you were released from prison?" Ben asked, going back to the earlier subject.

"Everything I've done since then, every moment had been devoted to finding my way back to the island." M'Lynn whispered.

"_So when you're feeling like you can't go on  
Don't you know  
You never walk alone no  
And you live in me"_

Ben pulled her close and kissed her forehead, "Dear M'Lynn, you're home."

M'Lynn smiled, "They'll be wondering why I've been in here so long. What are you going to do? You have a plan right?"

Ben chuckled, "I always have a plan. Trust me M'Lynn; I'm right where I want to be."

M'Lynn leaned over and kissed his cheek, "Please don't give Sayid another reason to beat you."

"I'll do my best. M'Lynn?" Ben said as she picked up the bowl and rag and stood.

"Yes?"

"Be careful in the jungle. Richard is here and I don't know what he will do if he finds you."

"I'll watch my back." M'Lynn assured as she grabbed the handle of the door.

"Why did you want to get so badly?" she heard Ben ask quietly. "You were free; you could have started a new life. But you spent over two year trying to return here. Why?"

M'Lynn bowed her head and turned slightly towards him. She closed her eyes and answered Ben's question.

"I had to get back to you." She spoke barely above a whisper and heard Ben's breathe catch.

She didn't turn to see his reaction; she left the room and closed the door behind her.

"_I'm gonna stand, stand by your side  
Kiss all your tears away tonight  
I'm gonna stand, stand by your side  
Make you believe again  
I wanna look in your eyes now  
and see you smiling again"_


	18. Almost Easy

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Almost Easy" by Avenged Sevenfold

**Chapter 18-Almost Easy**

"_I feel insane_

_Every single time I'm asked to compromise_

_'Cause I'm afraid and stuck in my ways_

_And that's the way it stays_

_So how long did I expect love to outweigh ignorance? _

_By the look on your face I may have forced the scale to tip"_

M'Lynn sunk to the wet jungle floor. She grabbed blindly at the ground around her. Of all the times for her glasses to fall off this one couldn't be worse. Her heart was beating erratically and she tried in vain to catch her breath. Despite the down pouring rain she could hear him coming. He called out her name, taunting her as he grew closer.

"Oh God." M'Lynn said as she began to shake. She had been running from him for hours. She couldn't see anything and she didn't think she had the strength to run anymore. For the first time since the plane crash she was truly afraid.

Even though she couldn't see him she felt his presence when he stepped behind her. He looked down at her with the same mocking glare he had used in the past. And this time M'Lynn knew he would carry through with his threats.

"_I'm not insane, I'm not insane_

_I'm not insane, I'm not… not insane"_

* * *

7 Days Ago…

"_Come back to me it's almost easy"_

"Knock, knock." M'Lynn said cheerily as she opened the door to the armory.

It was the third day that Ben had been held captive in the hatch. She had volunteered tobring in his food and change his bandages. She didn't want a repeat of Sayid's actions from the first day. She hadn't had another chance to talk to Ben though. Every time that she went into the armory either Jack or Locke was close by and they insisted that she keep the door open. So Ben and M'Lynn's communication was cut to meaningful glances.

M'Lynn's last words to Ben on the first day still followed her. She had told Ben that she came back to the island because of him. She had no clue how he felt about that. From their interaction so far it, he gave off the impression simply of a loving friend. She was hesitant to think he was actually "in love" with her anymore.

"Goodbye Henry." She said after she had set his food down. Ben looked at her impassively, finally giving her a deep nod in answer.

M'Lynn shut the door behind her and leaned back against it. It was the last time she would see Ben for a long time.

"_Come back again it's almost easy"_

* * *

6 Days Ago…

"M'Lynn right?" she heard from someone behind her.

She turned to see Ana-Lucia, one of the new people on the beach from the tail section of the plane. She didn't look like a pleasant person.

"That's me." M'Lynn said warily.

"You're the one taking care of the man in the hatch right? Henry?"

M'Lynn looked out at the ocean for a moment before turning back to Ana-Lucia, "Yes."

"Jack wants me to take over for you." She said.

"Why?" M'Lynn asked in surprise and she felt a slight panic rise in her chest. Had someone found out that she knew Ben?

"He said he needed your help with something in the jungle. That you might be gone for a few days."

M'Lynn nodded, knowing that if she argued that she could put Ben's life in danger, "Alright. Have fun in the hatch."

Ana-Lucia didn't answer her; she just turned and walked away.

* * *

5 Days Ago…

"Jack?" M'Lynn yelled into the jungle. They had only been walking out in the jungle for a few hours and already she had gotten separated from him.

She'd thought his idea was a waste of time anyway. She knew there wouldn't be anymore medical supplies just lying out in the jungle. But then again she also knew that the ones Ethan had given Jack were provided by Ben and the others. So she had humored Jack and trekked out into the jungle with him. And now he had gone and gotten himself lost.

M'Lynn looked around some more before giving up. She picked a direction that looked familiar and started walking. 

After an hour of walking M'Lynn admitted that she was lost herself. Nothing around looked at all like anything she'd seen before. It was beginning to get dark and she was worried. Soon she would need to find a place to stay for the night. She continued to walk until finally she heard something. It was a voice and it sounded terribly familiar.

"It can't be." She whispered as she ran towards it.

She didn't stop until she saw him. He was in front of a large building tending to the animals penned next to it. He looked just like she remembered. Tall, dark hair cropped close to his head, the tall boots he had favored since he first came to the island.

"Mikhail!" she cried and foolishly ran towards him. She was stopped mere feet from him when he aimed his gun at her. His finger lowered towards the trigger.

"Don't shoot, please! Mikhail, it's me, M'Lynn." She cried. With horror she took in the patch that covered one of his eyes. He looked haggard, on edge, like he had been expecting trouble.

"What did you say?" he asked in his beautiful, but harsh, Russian accent. 

M'Lynn closed her eyes and remembered the first time had met him. She and Isabel had behaved like silly school girls when he said their names.

She smiled at the thought, "It's M'Lynn, Mikhail. I'm M'Lynn."

"M'Lynn is dead." He said roughly as he studied her face.

"A lie. I've been alive this whole time off of the island."

"You looked nothing like her." He argued.

"Picture me without these glasses and long hair."

Mikhail took a moment to look at her, really look at her and slowly recognition came to his eye. He lowered his gun.

"M'Lynn?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes." M'Lynn nodded as tears came to her eyes.

Mikhail took two steps forward and enveloped her in his arms. "You silly girl. I never thought I would see you again."

M'Lynn hugged him right back, "You don't know how much I wanted to get back here. I finally made it."

"Come!" Mikhail smiled, "Come inside and tell me everything."

* * *

4 Days Ago…

M'Lynn was woken the next morning by the sun shining through the window. She was amazed to find she was in a bed, a real bed, not a make shift one like on the beach. She sat up and looked around. She must be in Mikhail's bed. She doubted there was more than one in The Flame. She looked out into the living area and saw Mikhail sprawled on the couch, his legs hanging off the end. She smiled at his thoughtfulness in giving up his bed for her.

They had stayed up most of the night talking to one another. She explained to him everything that had happened to her since she fled the island and what had happened since the crash. He told her what had transpired on the island while she had been gone. Most of it she had gathered in her talk with Ben but there was one thing he hadn't mentioned, Juliet.

"She was brought here to research why the pregnant women were all dying. It was possible she could find a way to cure them, at least that is what Ben claimed." Mikhail had told her late after a bottle of wine.

"He claimed? You don't think he was telling the truth?"

"No sweetheart, I don't."

"Why not?"

Mikhail looked at her, "Are you sure you want to know?" 

"Yes, I'm sure." She'd nodded.

"Because he was drawn to Juliet before she even got to the island. Because he was infatuated with her and went to great lengths to keep her on the island. Because, M'Lynn, Juliet looks just like you."

M'Lynn had actually gasped out loud.

"Well, she's a dead ringer for you before you left. You've made some changes since then. But even your faces are frighteningly similar. When I first saw her I almost thought that you had returned."

M'Lynn shook last night's conversation of out her mind. She knew she would have to think about it one day soon, but she didn't want anything to ruin her happiness over being reunited with her old friend.

Six hours later after spending another afternoon with Mikhail reminiscing, Mikhail was rushing M'Lynn to the door.

"You have to leave now!" he insisted.

"Why? What's wrong?" she asked.

"You said that Richard is the one who tried to keep you away from the island right?"

"Yes."

"Well, someone is on their way and it is most likely him."

"Shit." M'Lynn said as she grabbed her pack.

Mikhail opened the door for her. She looked up at him and fought back tears from forming in her eyes. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Do not get caught." Mikhail warned her as he slipped a handgun into her jeans.

M'Lynn nodded feeling very nervous, "Keep an eye on Ben?" she asked.

"Of course." Mikhail smiled. "Now go."

M'Lynn couldn't say goodbye to him, not after she had just found him. She turned away from the house and Mikhail and ran into the jungle.

* * *

3 Days Ago…

"_Shame pulses through my heart from the things I've done to you_

_It's hard to face but the fact remains that this is nothing new_

_I left you bound and tied with suicidal memories_

_Selfish beneath the skin but deep inside I'm not insane"_

M'Lynn knew it was there before she heard it roar. She had just enough time to start running before it burst through the foliage. As she ran for her life the insane thought came to her head that this was this third time she had been chased through the jungle by a polar bear. She couldn't try to shoot it like the last times. It was too close, she'd never have enough time to stop and aim at it. She had only one choice, she ran.

It was a good ten minutes that the damned thing chased her, but to M'Lynn it felt like a lifetime. Then suddenly, it was gone. She stopped and whipped around. The polar bear was no where in sight. She didn't even see any tracks from it. It was like it had disappeared. 

Breathing heavy M'Lynn turned in a circle, trying to get her bearings. She froze when she saw the dark building. She knew it hadn't been there a minute ago.

"No." she whispered as she gazed up at Jacob's cabin. 

Pure terror actually rushed through her when the door swung slowly open, seemingly of its own accord.

"No!" she cried, louder this time, "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"I think you should go in." a voice from behind her said with sarcasm.

M'Lynn turned slowly and saw the one man who she didn't want to see, Richard. She glanced over her shoulder at the cabin and with relief found that it was gone.

"I see you managed to make it back to the island." Richard said as he took a step closer.

"How did you find me?" she asked as he noticed her voice waver.

"A little bird told me." He mocked.

"That birds name wouldn't be Jacob would it?"

Richard ignored her question, "You know, I cut off nearly every way you could get to this island. It was a great deal of work too. But the one thing I didn't do was make sure that you couldn't board an airplane. Who would have thought you would crash here?"

"You're a bastard." M'Lynn spat, her fists clenching.

"I see your prison stay has given you quite a mouth." Richard smirked.

"Why have you tried so hard to keep me away from Ben? We weren't hurting anyone."

Richard shrugged, "I liked you in the beginning M'Lynn, but things change. I even encouraged Ben to pursue you. But Ben was needed for other things and you were not. It's that simple."

"So what are you going to do now Richard, threaten me like Ethan did?"

Richard chuckled, "No M'Lynn, I'm going to do what Ethan should have done the second he saw you on the island, I'm going to kill you."

M'Lynn was terrified but she faked confidence, "I was afraid you would say that." She said as she pulled out the gun Mikhail had given her. She aimed it at Richard and fired. She didn't wait around to see where she had hit him. She only noted that he fell to the ground before she started running.

* * *

2 Days Ago…

"_Now that I've lost you it kills me to say_

_I've tried to hold on as you've slowly slipped away_

_I'm losing the fight, I've treated you so wrong now let me make it right"_

M'Lynn sunk to the wet jungle floor. She grabbed blindly at the ground around her. Of all the times for her glasses to fall off this one couldn't be worse. Her heart was beating erratically and she tried in vain to catch her breath. Despite the down pouring rain she could hear him coming. He called out her name, taunting her as he grew closer.

"Oh God." M'Lynn said as she began to shake. She had been running from him for hours. She couldn't see anything and she didn't think she had the strength to run anymore. For the first time since the plane crash she was truly afraid.

Even though she couldn't see him she felt his presence when he stepped behind her. He looked down at her with the same mocking glare he had used in the past. And this time M'Lynn knew he would carry through with his threats.

Richard grabbed her by her hair and hauled her off of the ground.

"M'Lynn." He growled into her ear. "You're never going to see him again."

"No!" M'Lynn cried as she tried to free herself from his grasp. She reached around to his chest where she had shot him. She found the wound and shoved her fingers into it.

Richard screamed and fell to his knees. "You stupid bitch!"

M'Lynn tried to roll away from him but he grabbed her again.

He pulled her to her knees and stared at her. The rage on his face was evident and M'Lynn knew she was about to die.

Richard pulled his arm back that was holding his gun. He brought it down quickly, the butt of the gun crashing into the back of her head.

Pain exploded behind M'Lynn's eyes as her vision blurred even more. Richard threw her to the ground. 

"Ben." She whispered before everything went black.

* * *

1 Day Ago…

When M'Lynn woke up the first thing she noticed was the blinding pain between her eyes. The second thing she noticed was the thick ropes that bound her arms and legs. Her head whipped around the small room, hoping for some clue to where she was. There was none, just blank concrete walls. She pulled at the ropes around her wrists but they didn't budge. She felt a familiar panic envelope her body. She tried to fight the impulse to scream but it was no use. The sound escaped her throat and was absorbed into the walls. Her breathing became heavy as a horrible realization came to her. She could scream all she wanted, but there was no one there to hear her.

"_Come back to me it's almost easy_

_Come back again it's almost easy"_


	19. Who Watches the Watchmen?

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Who Watches the Watchmen?" by The Prize Fighter Inferno

**Chapter 19-Who Watches the Watchmen?**

"_There's a light in the shed that should help you find your way._

_And through this door you deserve a beating through the Machine._

_And little did you once know in the race for the telephone._

_In the dark they watched us from here beyond the grave._

_To bear the marks of His work are the Watchmen of our ways."_

"You can't keep me here forever. Ben will know I've left the survivors camp, he'll come looking for me." M'Lynn told Richard.

Richard looked down at her with a condescending look on his face. It had been five days since he tied her up and threw her into the small room and he hadn't looked at her differently once.

"Ben has his own issues to worry about. And you are not at the top of that list." He smirked.

"He cares about me." M'Lynn said but even she heard her voice falter. Ben had been released from the hatch and returned to his people four days ago. She kept expecting him to burst through the door to rescue her but the more time that passed the less hope she had.

"No, he cared about you and that was a long time ago. Didn't you hear that he found a replacement for you?"

"You mean Juliet." M'Lynn answered.

"Yes, she's very beautiful, a perfect match for Ben."

"Too bad she's only a stand in for me." M'Lynn smiled.

Richard's eye narrowed and he backhanded her cheek. M'Lynn spat the blood out of her mouth and glared up at him.

"Is that all you've got?" she asked calmly.

Richard smiled an evil smile that M'Lynn had grown to recognize since he locked her up. She knew when she saw that smile that he was truly ready to begin torturing her.

"_That which we feel untrue, if it's me than it isn't you._

_Lay-down, relax, come on, how?_

_What you thought once was yours is ours now."_

* * *

"Isabel, have you seen Richard?" Ben asked as he passed her in the hallway of the Hydra.

Isabel stopped next to Ben, "Not in a few hours, I think he took the boat back to the barracks."

"Really?" Ben mused. "I didn't send him for anything."

Isabel studied Ben, "You're looking better."

"Yes, not being tied up and beaten daily can have that effect." He smirked.

Isabel smiled, "Ben, I can tell that something is on your mind. Did anything else happen in that hatch that you haven't told us about?"

Ben's thoughts immediately went to M'Lynn. She'd been gone for a few days when Michael freed him from the hatch. He assumed that she had gone on some jungle mission with Jack and he'd have to extract her later. But his scouts told him that she hadn't returned. Ben looked at his old friend Isabel. He knew that she and M'Lynn had been close to each other and that he should tell her she was back. After Isabel had lost Kelvin she hadn't been the same and seeing M'Lynn would lift her spirits. But Ben decided against telling her just yet. He didn't want to get her hopes up about M'Lynn and not be able to produce her. But if he was honest with himself, the longer she was missing, the more unlikely it would be to find her alive and that thought terrified him the most.

"_In the call of her screams should we leave and let them be?_

_Is her life worth as much as we once wished to believe?_

_So is it or isn't so? _

_Am I dead now here in the snow?_

_In the foul of their play will then justice be engraved?_

_To bare the walk on the way to the killer and his blade."_

* * *

"Tell me something Richard," M'Lynn said as Richard took a short break from beating her. "Did you watch us?"

"What?" Richard said as he wiped M'Lynn's blood from his hands with a towel.

"Ben and I. You seem to know everything about our relationship. So I'm wondering if you watched us all of the time, like when we had sex. Are you a pervert Richard?" M'Lynn's head was thrown back from the force of his fist colliding with her chin.

"I thought so." M'Lynn chimed.

She knew that she shouldn't taunt him. It only made him hit her harder. But she couldn't help it. She had to push his buttons somehow. It was her only hope to finding some weakness of his to help get her out of this mess. She might understand more if Richard was trying to get some sort of information out of her, but he wasn't. He hadn't asked her a single question about Ben or anything else. He just came in each day and beat her senseless for a few hours, then left. 

"Maybe you are jealous?" M'Lynn laughed through her pain.

"Jealous of you?" Richard asked incredulously.

"No, of Ben because he has me."

"First of all, he doesn't even want you. And what makes you such a prize?"

"Come on, just look at me. I survived The Purge, survived a plane crash, I'm surviving you. I'm special." M'Lynn said as she tried to stretch her sore body but it was impossible with her hands tied so tightly behind her back.

Richard actually laughed, "Are you offering yourself to me M'Lynn?"

M'Lynn looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, "Will it get me out of this room if I am?"

Richard considered her, "It might."

"Then yes, that is exactly what I am doing. Have your way with me, do whatever you want just let me out of here and stop hitting me."

Richard chuckled as he pulled her to her feet and pushed her roughly towards the door. "Oh, they'll likely still be a good deal of hitting involved." He whispered dangerously.

M'Lynn's eyes widened as Richard ran his hand leisurely down her arm. She shivered at his touch and realized that she was now in a much more dangerous situation.

"_Stay with me to guide this dream_

_before they bury me._

_I'll be waiting up all night for you_

_in a nightmare that was made for me."_


	20. Prelude

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics-"Prelude 12/21" by A.F.I.

**Chapter 19-Prelude**

"_This is what I brought you, this you can keep._

_This is what I brought, you may forget me._

_I promise you a heart, just promise one thing._

_Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep."_

Richard pushed M'Lynn toward the house's small bathroom. She tensed when he pulled a large knife from his belt but he only used it to cut the ropes from her wrists.

"Clean yourself up." He said. "I'll set clean clothes outside the door."

Wanting to be away from him as quickly as possible M'Lynn entered the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She took off her filthy clothes and turned the shower on as hot as she could handle. She stepped gingerly into the bathtub and relaxed under the water. M'Lynn looked down and saw the water run red as she washed the dried blood from her bruised body. In the short time that she had been Richard's captive he had done his best to inflict as many injuries on her as possible. She was just grateful he hadn't broken as of her bones.

M'Lynn didn't want to leave the warm comfort of the shower but she didn't want Richard to come in looking for her either. As she dried off she wondered how she was going to get herself out of this mess. She didn't hold any illusions that Richard was going to let her go. He was sure to use her offer as yet another way to torture her.

M'Lynn sighed and cracked open the bathroom door. She looked at the floor but the clothes Richard had promised weren't there.

"Hello?" she called.

"In here." She heard from the end of the hallway.

"Damn." M'Lynn muttered as she tightened her towel around her body and walked cautiously down the hall. She pushed open the door and found Richard standing to the side looking at something on one of the dressers. M'Lynn's eyes left Richard and took in the room; she gasped in horror.

"_This is what I brought you, this you can keep._

_This is what I brought, you may forget me._

_I promise you my heart just promise to sing._

_Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep."_

"This is Ben's house." She whispered.

Richard smiled, "I was wondering when you would figure it out. After all, you used to live here."

"No." M'Lynn shook her head and started to back out of the room but Richard blocked her.

"I believe we have a deal to settle."

"I can't, not in his room." M'Lynn pleaded.

"Now, now, you can't take back what you said. Besides, you don't want to go back into the basement, do you?" he growled as he grabbed the corner of M'Lynn's towel and tore it from her body. He shoved her roughly onto Ben's bed and gazed down at her naked form.

"Please Richard, don't do this." M'Lynn cried as she crawled to the head of the bed.

"It's too late M'Lynn, it's already begun." He answered as he climbed on to the bed.

M'Lynn thrust her hand behind the headboard of the bed and felt around frantically. Finally she found what she was looking for. She grabbed it and leveled it evenly at Richard.

"That's close enough." She warned.

Richard eyed the gun in M'Lynn's hands, a sneer forming on his face.

"You said it yourself Richard, this used to be my room. We both know Ben, how many other guns do you think he has hidden in this room? I could show you at least three." M'Lynn said as she stood up from the bed and circled Richard until she was between him and the door.

"You won't shoot me." Richard said confidently without turning around.

"Who said anything about shooting you?" M'Lynn chided as she raised the gun high and brought it down hard over Richard head. She looked on in satisfaction as he crumpled to the bed, unconscious.

It wasn't easy, but M'Lynn found the strength to haul Richard's body down into the basement, into the room where he had kept her. She found some new rope and tied his arms and legs so tight he would never be able to get free without help. Then she found the key to the padlock he had kept on the door. She took it and with a smile locked him inside.

"_This is what I thought, I thought you'd need me._

_This is what I thought, so think me naive_

_I'd promised you a heart, you'd promise to keep._

_Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep."_

Breathing a little easier M'Lynn made her back upstairs into Ben's house. She tried to ignore the familiarity of her old home as she threw on some more suitable clothes. She ended up in a pair of Ben's boxer shorts and one of his many button up shirts. She wasn't sure what she would find once she left the house so she took the gun with her as well.

She cautiously stepped onto the front porch and saw the other yellow houses just as they had been before she left. Once she was sure that no one else was around she stole out into the courtyard and tried to get her bearings.

"Excuse me?" a kind voice asked from behind her.

M'Lynn whipped around and raised her gun. She saw an old woman in a simple dress looking back at her calmly, not bothered at all by the gun. M'Lynn could hardly believe that she was still alive. She thought back to the weathered woman from Richard's group she had met after the purge. She had never imagined her in a dress. "Amelia?" M'Lynn questioned.

The old woman studied her for a moment before her face broke into an amazed smile, "M'Lynn, you've finally come home."

"_Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep."_


	21. Feathers

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: Feathers by Coheed and Cambria

**Chapter 21-Feathers**

"_Historys made its mark in anger_

_As everybody knows it's what we do_

_It's nothing new"_

M'Lynn followed Amelia into one of the small yellow houses across the courtyard.

"Sit down dear." Amelia said as she motioned towards the overstuffed couch in the living room.

Amelia went into the kitchen and pulled down a small cup, "I'm going to make you some tea dear. You look like you've been through quite an ordeal."

M'Lynn stared in awe as she watched Amelia putter around the kitchen. She seemed completely at home in the cozy house. M'Lynn found it all very strange seeing as Amelia was one of the island natives who had taught her and her friends how to survive in the jungle after the purge.

"_The next chords struck are fault and failure_

_And we both know the finger points on cue_

_Theres blame for two"_

"Here you go." Amelia smiled as she handed M'Lynn a warm cup.

"Thank you." M'Lynn said as Amelia sat down across from her.

"M'Lynn where did you go? Ben would never tell us why you left the island."

M'Lynn looked away from Amelia's searching eyes and took a long swallow from her tea before answering. "I just needed to get away."

Amelia didn't look convinced, "Then why did you come back?"

"Because I'm in love with him." M'Lynn sighed, taking another sip of her tea.

"Ben?" Amelia asked.

M'Lynn smiled, "Who else?"

"_Do you really want him coming Newo?_

_Do you really think its coming back to you?_

_Hold as the world stop spinning with that writing on the wall."_

"How did you get hurt?"

M'Lynn felt herself growing tired, "Richard did it." She answered without realizing it.

"Richard? Where is he now?" Amelia asked sharply.

"Tied up. Why?"

The old woman looked agitated, "Drink your tea M'Lynn."

M'Lynn looked down at the cup in her hands as her vision grew hazy. "Amelia, did you put something in my tea?"

"Lay down dear and close your eyes." Amelia said as she stood and went to a nearby drawer. M'Lynn watched her pull out a handgun.

"What are you doing?" M'Lynn asked as the tea cup fell from her hands. It seemed like it took a lifetime for it to reach the floor where it spilled the rest of its contents onto the carpet.

Amelia stood over her, "Where is Richard?" she asked dangerously.

M'Lynn was confused and couldn't think straight. She felt her eyes closing against her will, "Why?" she whispered.

Amelia saw the key to the padlock tied around M'Lynn's throat and ripped it from her neck.

"You'd better hope my son is still alive." Amelia spat as M'Lynn fell into darkness.

"_Right now, hide your feathers on the back porch, baby._

_Hes coming home, for you've been such a liar._

_Hide your feathers near your back porch maybe to open up to cry your sorry eyes out."_

* * *

M'Lynn opened her eyes slowly and squinted at the bright light coming in through the window. She looked around and found she was still on the couch but Amelia was no where in sight. Remembering that Amelia had drugged her M'Lynn jumped up from the couch and reached to the back of her waistband.

"Thank God." She whispered when she found her gun was still there.

M'Lynn knew Amelia wasn't foolish enough to let her keep her gun. She guessed she had been too worried about her son to retrieve it.

As M'Lynn crept to the front door she replayed four words in her mind, "Richard is her son?" ran over and over, the more she thought about it the stranger it sounded. But if she really though about it, why not? Amelia and Richard had lived with their people in the jungle for years; it was more than likely they were related.

M'Lynn pulled open the door and peeked out into the courtyard. She didn't see anyone. She stepped onto the front porch and stole down the stairs. She had made it to the center of the courtyard when she heard a door open. She glanced towards Ben's house and saw Richard exit followed closely by his mother.

"Shit." She breathed when she saw the anger on Richard's face.

"M'Lynn!" he yelled as he charged towards her.

"_Hear me scream outside your window._

_I'm only here to make my peace with you._

_There's something new._

_Oh, it was our time, feeding out lines._

_If I could do things different, what would I choose?_

_Oh, don't you cry, Mama._

_Please, don't cry Mama._

_Oh, don't you cry, no, no."_

M'Lynn turned and ran in the direction she remembered to lead out of camp. She didn't stop to look back and gave a cry of joy when she saw the security fence. She was almost to it when she was stopped from behind.

Richard grabbed a huge handful of her hair and pulled back with all of his strength causing M'Lynn to scream and fall backwards. Richard threw her to the ground and circled her.

"You made a mistake when you tied me up M'Lynn. Now I am really going to kill you."

"Was I supposed to just let you take advantage of me? Don't lie Richard, you were going to kill me anyway." She glared up at him.

Richard thought for a moment, "You're right. Why waste any more time?"

M'Lynn looked down and saw that her gun had fallen from her waistband. Richard followed her eyes. He kicked the gun out of reach before she could even move closer.

"I want you to tell me why." M'Lynn said as she slowly rose.

"Why what?"

"You had me off of the island, that could have been the end of it. Why did you frame me?"

"You mean you didn't like being in prison?" Richard laughed.

"You must really have Ben fooled for him to still trust you and not see you for the bastard you are." A frightening thought came to M'Lynn, "You told Ben to kill me didn't you?"

"Oh no, that was Jacob, but he may have been swayed when I told him how much time you spent together. How Ben was beginning to think of you first instead of the island. You see M'Lynn, Ben does what he is told. We've always had him fooled."

"To what purpose?" M'Lynn asked.

"He was needed to play his part and he will continue to do so, just like your part is to die. You never should have come back here."

"Like I had a choice." M'Lynn muttered.

Richard smirked as he withdrew a knife from his belt and lunged at her.

M'Lynn prepared to jump out of the way when she heard a gun shot. Richard froze, his eyes locked with hers, as blood flowered from a wound in his chest.

Wide-eyed, M'Lynn turned slowly to see Ben holding her gun. Ben sat in a wheelchair a number of people surrounded him, including Jack and a woman who looked remarkably like her.

"_No other, could wait for a lover._

_To erase, boy, when there's no more room for love, you sail her off to the shores._

_No other, could wait for a lover._

_To erase, boy, when there's no more room for love, you sail her off to the shores."_

M'Lynn walked up to Ben who hadn't taken his eyes off Richard. She knew it must have been very hard for him to kill the man who had been his mentor. M'Lynn gently took the gun from his hand and pointed it at the ground. Everyone stood in silence not quite sure what to do next.

M'Lynn watched as the ground around Richard's body was slowly stained with blood, marveling that only hours ago she had been his prisoner.

Suddenly they all heard a cry of anguish. They looked up to see Amelia running in their direction. She collapsed in front of Richard, tears pouring down her face. M'Lynn thought she was strangely silent as she looked at her son. With a shaky hand Amelia reached down and closed Richard's eyes.

"You bitch." Amelia whispered as she stared at M'Lynn. She produced a gun and aimed it at M'Lynn's heart.

M'Lynn instinctively raised her own gun at Amelia. She didn't want to shoot the old woman but she would do what she needed to do to protect herself and Ben.

Without warning Amelia switched her aim. She placed the barrel of the gun at her temple and pulled the trigger.

M'Lynn watched with tears in her eyes as Amelia's body fell to the ground next to her son's.

M'Lynn dropped her gun to the ground her whole body beginning to shake. She couldn't believe what they had all just witnessed. "Oh my God." She whispered.

"What is going on?" a female voice asked coming out of the jungle.

M'Lynn turned instinctively towards the familiar tone. The woman spotted her and her eyes grew wide.

"M'Lynn?" she asked in disbelief.

M'Lynn looked back at her old friend, "Isabel." She said calmly before she felt her knees buckle and her vision go hazy. The last thing she saw was Jack lunging to catch her as she fainted.

"_Oh don't you cry, Mama._

_Oh don't you cry, no, no."_


	22. Original Sin

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Also, all song lyrics belong to their respective companies. Lyrics are _italicized._

Lyrics: "Original Sin" by Elton John

**Chapter 22-Original Sin**

"_Oh, it's carnival night_

_And they're stringing the lights around you_

_Hanging paper angels_

_Painting little devils on the roof"_

"Where have you been?" Isabel asked when they had returned to the village and settled into Ben's house.

They were in Ben's bedroom. Ben way lying on his side still sore from his operation. A grimace graced his face. M'Lynn sat beside him and Isabel stood at the foot of the bed, her expression stern.

"Up until a few hours ago I was locked in the basement downstairs." M'Lynn answered.

Ben found her arm and squeezed it. He'd already taken in her cuts and bruises. "I'm sorry M'Lynn."

"It's not your fault Ben." She assured.

Isabel crossed her arms in front of her, "You should have told me you knew M'Lynn was on the island Ben."

"By the time I got to the Hydra M'Lynn had disappeared from the beach camp. I didn't want to tell you until I knew where she was."

"Why not?"

Ben took a weary breath, "I didn't want to raise your hopes. I didn't want you to lose her twice."

Isabel's expression softened. She came around the bed and sat next to M'Lynn and Ben.

"You old softie." She chuckled as she bent down and kissed Ben on the cheek.

M'Lynn smiled as Isabel looked at her, "Don't you ever leave us again!" she said seriously.

M'Lynn nodded, "I won't".

"Promise?" Ben asked, gazing up at her from his pillow.

"_Oh the furnace wind_

_Is a flickering of wings about your face_

_In a cloud of incense_

_Yea, it smells like Heaven in this place"_

She felt like the three of them were in school again making pinky promises on the play ground.

"Absolutely." She answered.

Isabel stood, "I'm going to leave the two of you alone for now. I want to make sure the doctor is settled."

M'Lynn followed her to the door. She saw the tears in her old friend's eyes and had to fight back her own. She threw her arms around Isabel and hugged her tightly.

"I'll find you later and we'll go say hello to Kelvin." Isabel whispered.

"Okay." M'Lynn said remembering what Desmond had told her about Kelvin's fate.

"_I can't eat, can't sleep_

_Still I hunger for you when you look at me_

_That face, those eyes_

_All the sinful pleasures deep inside"_

M'Lynn closed the bedroom door after Isabel and turned back to Ben. She raised a questioning eyebrow to him.

"I suppose you want to know about the surgery." He mused.

"You could have told me you were sick when you were in the hatch."

"I didn't want you to worry."

"I'm sure. I do want to hear all about that and why Jack is here but I was thinking of another question."

Ben sighed as if he knew what she was going to ask. "Alright." He said slowly.

"When I found Mikhail he told me something that stuck with me. He told me about a woman you had brought to the island, Juliet."

"_A dream will fly_

_The moment that you open up your eyes_

_A dream is just a riddle_

_Ghosts from every corner of your life"_

"M'Lynn." Ben started.

"Wait." She stopped him. "I don't need to know why you brought here her or what has gone on between the two of you. The only thing I need to know is if you are together right now, if you love her."

M'Lynn turned away not wanting Ben to see her tears.

"Come here please." He said quietly.

M'Lynn walked slowly to the bed and kneeled next to it so her eyes were level with Bens.

"_Up in the balcony_

_All the Romeo's are bleeding for your hand_

_Blowing theater kisses_

_Reciting lines they don't understand"_

Ben swallowed, "When you left M'Lynn, I was lost. I didn't realize how much I needed you until you were gone. Then, when Ethan informed me that you had moved on I tried to do the same. I found Juliet and came up with a way I could bring her here under the guise of fixing the islands fertility problems. Once she arrived no one missed that she bore a striking resemblance to you."

M'Lynn tried to move away from the bed but Ben caught her hand and pulled her back. He didn't release her hand.

"I tried!" he said forcefully. "I really did, but no matter what I did, no matter how much I tried to force my feelings to change I couldn't replace you with Juliet. It's always been you M'Lynn, always."

"_Tell me how, you know now, the ways and means of getting in_

_Underneath my skin, _

_Oh you were always my original sin_

_And tell me why, I shudder inside, every time we begin _

_This dangerous game_

_Oh you were always my original sin"_

M'Lynn smiled through her tears, "So you're not in love with her then?"

"No." Ben smiled as he struggled to sit up. "I'm in love with you."

Ben pulled her close and M'Lynn melted into his arms.

"That was a really good answer." She said, her head resting on his shoulder.

Ben chuckled, "I'm glad it was to your satisfaction. You believe me right?"

"Of course I do Ben." M'Lynn said sitting up to look into his eyes. "Why do you think I worked so hard to get back here, back to you? I wouldn't have done that if deep down I truly believed you had moved on."

"You've always had such faith in me, even after what I did to you." Ben whispered, carefully moving a stray hair from her face.

"Because I love you Ben and I believe you are a better man than you let yourself believe."

Ben smiled and patted the space on the bed next to him. M'Lynn climbed in beside him and he wrapped his arms tightly around her as if he would never let go. M'Lynn hoped he wouldn't.

"_Oh you were always my original sin"_


End file.
